Golden Shower Girls Returns

It's been a damn long time since we had a GSG video, but I feel this is a strong return. It really brings back lovely fantasies I used to have as a kid about pretty Zack Morris. SHUT UP, you know you had them too.

Glamazon

Oh ladyman. This concept could have been executed so much better. It looks like Ru paid a first year art school trick in Nyx Cosmetics to make it.

Get More: Watch Reality TV, Video and Movies, Logo TV

Young Avengers

I've been into the Young Avengers comic for a while now.  I am catching up on the latest volume, and it of course leads to my searching for sexy pictures of the two homo Young Avengers.  Get into it.

Textual Intercourse: Dirty Business

I have a business trip coming up in a few weeks, and I found out today that my hotel accomodations will be at Disney World.

me: Maybe I'll get some Disney ass! I wanna fuck Aladdin!

Mia: MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE A THREEWAY WITH ALLADIN AND JAFAR

me: DONE. I am making this happen.

MC Chris "Discord"

The title says this is an April Fool's joke, but this song is WAY too deep to be a jest.  You may know MC
Chris as a talented nerd rapper with such hits as Fett's Vette.  He puts his genius to work in this fantastic ode to My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic:

Classy as Hell

I don't know where this originated, but I'm glad my friend sent it to me and frustrated that I didn't think of it first.

Lana del Rey Can Eat A Bowl of Dicks

I barely paid enough attention to her SNL performance to notice that she presented as a malfunctioning robot in slow motion.  I just don't care for that bitch.  I have made a commitment to myself to never intentionally listen to or view her.  I much rather prefer parody versions of her.

Judy Winslowed

Brady and I love the story of Judy Winslow.  She was part of the family on Family Matters, and one day she went up to her room and never came down.  They retconned the shit out of her.  It was as if she never existed.  We love to use the term as a verb.  I've Judy Winslowed a few people in my life.  It's a sad but sometimes necessary move.  I got inspired by the My Little Ponies: Friendship Is Magic meme of Princess Celestia banishing bitches to the moon and created this:

St. Petersburg House of Discreet Pleasure

I've known of this show titled Svetlana for a while now, but I finally got into it this weekend.  I finished the two seasons tonight.  The titular character is a Russian madam/prostitute in L.A. dealing with the everyday stuggles of whoredom and life and features so many funny bitches you already know.  She's brought to life by the genius comedian Iris Bahr.  No really, she might be a genius, having studied neuropsychology at Brown.  To be fair, I took some neuropsych classes, and it's not as hard as it sounds (#humblebrag).  She's certainly gifted in every aspect of entertainment.  I tried to figure out how I knew her, but it wasn't until I looked her up that I realized she was in some of the best Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes of all time... the season 5 episodes where Larry pretends to be Jewish.  Look into it.  Sidenote: her memoir Dork Whore is available on the Kindle for $1.99!  ANYWAY, Svetlana is laugh-out-loud hilarious and dirty and fantastic.  It's on a random channel called HDNet that I apparently get after all.  Thanks to this show, my inner monologue now has a Russian accent.  Get into it, children.

The Grudge

"Feeces the Hut."  Unfortunately this scan doesn't pick up the wonderful shading. Mia has the original now.

I don't "hate" a lot. I say I do and that I hate people in general (which is mostly true), but to truly hate someone takes a lot of effort. Even people who have wronged me in deep, soul-crushing ways I manage to forgive. Except one. It's not so much that she hurt me, but the woman had such audicity to treat people like shit and berate and belittle everyone and exert authority where none existed. She was my boss for a while, and I hated her at first. We got in a yelling match, and I let that twat know I was not to be fucked with. Then we got along great. Then Mia showed up and the bitch, we'll call her Feeces, started alternating favorites and trying to pit us against each other. Well Feeces was a super cunt and compromised my employer's relationship with other businesses, so a bitch had to go. I texted her a little afterward, then one time, I didn't answer her call and just texted her the next day. She obviously felt slighted, so she never responded to a subsequent text. Ever since, I've focused on how awful she was. Mia and I recount our time with her like war veterans. This bitch reminds me of her, please WATCH THIS SHIT.

I could write pages about how horrible and disgusting this woman was. Like how she'd chow on popcorn at her desk, or how she'd shit in the bathroom and it would literally stink the whole office up. But I won't go there.

Anyway, the point is, I was writing about Feeces this morning and had this to say:

I hope she gets some pussy wasting disease and it rots her from the inside out and she's miserable for years before I finally come to her bedside, whisper "fuck you," and smother her with a pillow. Too much?