Textual Intercourse

me: gross. i'm watching a movie where this guy said "each one of you is to stick to the guy who called you like stink on quim"



me: it rang a bell, but i couldn't remember what quim meant



Brady: SNIZ



me: yeah, apparently it's the fluids produced by the sniz



me: i need to start working it into my vocabulary



Brady: oh

Brady: I feel gross

me: worked out?

Brady: no I just didn't shower yet

me: oh did you work up a sniz sweat beating off or something?

Brady: yeah

me: okay that makes more sense

How Rude

I hadn't seen a contraption like this before that bastard just plopped down on the bleachers right in front of people. How motherfucking rude. It's one thing to bring a baby to an event (I don't think kids should be allowed outside home/school until they can be trusted not to throw fits) but to do so in such a way that literally sticks the little jackass in people's faces is ridiculous.

Congratulations, Assholes

I was at a graduation ceremony this morning. Not only did the dean of the particular college look exactly like she belonged as a teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchraft and Wizardy, but these little beasts were there:







I wanted to tell little Fred and George Weasley that one of them would lose an ear and one would die.