BAM

This guy is somehow involved with Michael serrato a.k.a. Super Tranny Heaven.  I think he directed the first Heaven video, and he was in both looking cute.  Well I have to say I am enamoured with him.  It's his body hair and facial scruff.  It's no secret I'm a fan of slightly-to-moderately hirsuite gentlemen.  Mmm just look at him here.

Another Slice of Heaven

I shared her with you before, but please refresh yourself with Heaven.  She's back with SO many killer looks.  Doesn't $15,000 seem cheap for a sexual reassignment surgery?  I know my girl Calpernia Addams has a $40,000 vagina.  I guess Heaven got the back alley deal with some Mexican botox thrown in.  Anyway, I actually really enjoy this song, and the video is of course magnificent.  You might want to wait to watch it though, because your day is pretty much downhill after that.

My Hero

If I had a good voice, I would just start singing gospel riffs every time I get enraged.



You probably don't recognize this crazy woman, so I shall enlighten you. She has apparently been in Tyler Perry's plays. You remember him of course. I've seen a few of those masterpieces, and let me tell you:  they harmed my very soul.  Yeah yeah, Madea is funny and outrageous and blah blah blah, but the rest is just insufferable.  It's just in-your-face Jesus (I know you love me and all, but leave me alone) and shout-singing gospel.  Go ahead and skip them.  Tyler Perry doesn't need any more money.

In Dreams

I had a dream last night that I was just chilling by myself, sitting on a stoop somewhere.  A woman and her young daughter came along, and the little girl just up and sat on my lap.  The first thing I noticed was that she had a cat nose and patches of blue fur on her face.  Oh, and whiskers.  I was nice to her and asked her what her name was (I don't remember) and how old she was.  She said she was seven, and I commented on her fur.  She seemed a little embarrassed at first, and her mother said it's something they don't really like to talk about.  I told the girl that I thought her fur was really cute, and I wish I had some.  She giggled, and then I woke up.  I have a general rule about kids:  I hate them.  They annoy me to no end when I encounter them in the wild.  I run away from them like a level 5 mage stumbling across a full grown Adamantoise.  I avoid them like the plague if I see them in public.  Now I think perhaps I make such a fuss because I'm scared I'll never have any kids.  I'll certainly never be knocking any broads up; and right about now, there's no prospect of a partner with whom to rear a child.  I have a friend who in pre-dating stages, found out that the guy in interest wants a kid by the time he's 30, whether he's with someone or not.  Is it just me, or do you not tell people that?  I imagine a woman telling a man (she's never even met yet) that she wants a baby within three years, and I see him heading for the hills.  And with us it's different.  We can't just trick a guy into getting us pregnant if we're desperate.  We have to go through lengthy adoption processes (if you're even allowed to, depending on what state you're in) or deal with surrogacy.  Buying a bitch's baby is EXPENSIVE.  And then she can always back out until the little bastard is born.  I have friends who already have small children.  I can't imagine caring for a child at this stage of my life.  I admit that I really want to, but not for another ten years or so.  Until I feel like I'm in a better place in my life (and hopefully with a man who has Oprah money), I'll continue the charade that I abhor children.  Nasty little things.  Twat vomit and crotch fruit, the lot of them.

Raaaaaspberries!

My eyes have been opened to the true craziness that is Carol Channing.  I've always known who she is, but not really what her deal is.  The only thing you need to know is that she is a crazy old broad. 

I remember watching this old Alice and Wonderland from 1985 and LOVING it.  Sadly I can't find an embeddable version, so you have to click here for it:  Carol Channing's Jam Song.

And then there are some random gems that prove this old bitch (she's kind of like Bea Arthur, she was never young) always had it.  Just pay attention to her ridiculous voice, spastic and insance posturing, and wig skills.





Carol Channing as Marlene Dietrich

This Bitch Got Me Twisted

Oh, who is that cute latino boy?  JD Samson, that's an cute name for a jailbait looking boy.  Oh, that's a girl?  Well that just rocks my fucking world.  I had heard of JD's "wispy mustache," buut DAMN.  When I think of him as a boy, he's cute.  But when I think of him as a girl, I get a little pukey.  I mean, I'm all about trannies and doing whatever you want to do, but when I'm already having dirty feelings for him and find out she's just a hairy woman, it confuses me.

It's Come To My Attention

That this shit is hilarious.  Watch all the Chloe videos:

Chloe Sevigny

A Quick Poem

From the genius Elaine Carroll:

There once was a man named OJ,
Who got really angry one day.
So he got out his knife,
And killed his ex-wife,
And left behind some DNA.

Dangerous Wands

YES.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Very Mary Kate

I guess this is really old, but I just discovered it. This trick does a great version of how I would like to imagine Mary Kate is: Very Mary Kate. There are too many to post individually, so check out the site for her videos, but I'll post one below for a quick taste. I love how Ashley is supposed to be the sensible one, you know, because she does things like eat: "I have to go. I ordered a spring roll."


Very Mary-Kate: Moving Out from Mary-Kate Olsen on Vimeo.