Wedding Tips from Shangela

I'm not sure how I missed this one.

Some Bitch Named Deltrese Royale

Trust that I did a very thorough search for all things Keisha Fabo yesterday, however I was surprised not to find anything comparing that bitch Deltrese to Latrice Royale of Ru Paul's Drag Race.  I decided to take matters into my owns hands this morning.  You're quite welcome.

Miss Cleo!

You'll recognize this queen from the current season of Ru Paul's Drag Race:   Dwayne Milan.  This is a delightful video in which Milan shines, unlike in RDR.  Girl was out of place up in that show.  She is a performer and comedian, but her style is just not for Ru.  Get into the envelope that has "PHONE BILL" written on it in marker. I will also be stealing as my signature move the lick-lick-nip-nip. Trust.

Trannychaser

You know you love it.

Turning The World Slutty One Skank At A Time

Hey, Robin Antin. What's up? How's your monstrous penis-like clit? I see you were a judge on the most recent episode of RuPaul's Drag Race. That seems fitting. Your criticism for each contestant was to make them sluttier and show more skin. You said that you always want something to show. No truer words have ever been spoken. You've trained your own "ladies" of the Pussycat Dolls well. They always follow your advice. Just look at all the censored pictures that come up for an image search of TPD. It seems that a nipple or labia is always showing. Bravo, Ms. Man, you should be proud.

Jenny Shimizu: Model, Dyke, Comedian

In case you forgot, Jenny Shimizu is as big a raging lesbian as ever. She appeared on the most recent episode of RuPaul's Drag Race and complimented Ongina on her name. "I love the name Ongina. I'm often on 'gina too." Ha! I haven't seen such a funny lesbian since Paula Poundvag, I mean Poundstone.

Also in RPDR news, it finally hit me after three episodes why they say it takes "charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent." C.U.N.T. I feel slow. Give me a helmet and put my ass on the little bus because I'm speshul today. C.U.N.T. kind of sounds like it should be the enemy organization in the next James Bond film. James will have to infiltrate the deepest recesses of C.U.N.T and climax with the submission of Selma Twat.

Bible Stories

RuPaul:

"In the beginning God created Adam and Eve. A few years later, Shaniqua, the Garden of Eden's first drag queen, came along and stole a pair of pumps from Eve. Well the rest was history."

Ladyballs

Fix your weave and tuck your nuts! It's time for. . .

RuPaul's Drag Race
Yeshhhh.
It's like America's Next Top Model, America's Got Talent, Project Runway (for this episode at least), and America's Fiercest Tranny all in one. Technically they're not trannies....since so many people get it twisted, let's get something clear first:

transvestite: anyone dressed up in the opposite sex's clothing; cross-dresser: gay, straight, whatevs. For a while it was used specifically for hetero guys who enjoy wearing women's clothing.
drag queen: a cross-dresser who does so for entertainment purposes; i.e., Lady Bunny and Coco Peru. And RuPaul, duh.
transsexual/transgender: someone who identifies with the physical sex other than that with which he/she was born. These are the ones who potentially qualify for sexual reassignment surgery. When people say "trannies," this is usally what they mean.

These boys may or may not be trannies, but I'm going to be using all the terms loosely. I just like the word tranny.

Oh, and there's something else thou shalt not get twisted. As much as I respect her, RuPaul did not invent all this tranny vernacular. Supermodel of the world? No, no, no. Much of it was coined in NYC in the 70s and 80s. Do yourself a favor, and watch Paris Is Burning. You might be able to understand more of my jokes that way. On to the show. . .

You know what? I suddenly got really unmotivated. I'll just say there are some manly, busted queens and some manly, not-quite-as-busted queens. I just want to focus on one contestant: Tammie Brown.


Dear Tammie Brown,
What happened to your face? I can only imagine what sort of horrible accident befell you to make you look that way. What I'm specifically worried about is your forehead. I mean. . . damn. I'm sorry, I know it's not cool to make fun of people with birth defects, but modern medicine offers many options for extreme drag makeovers. I think lowering your hairline would make all the difference. Oh, and a personality transplant.
xoxo
Schad N. Freude


I have to admit I was extremely repulsed by Tammie at first. But the more I looked, the more I loved. It's as if Lucille Ball, Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, and Chewbacca had a forgy and created a demented baby. Her forehead is off the hook! Tyra Banks ain't got shit on her. I like her painfully awkward and uncomfortable look and persona in drag. My favorite art and literature always make me uncomfortable. The thing is, he's actually cute as a boy.



Except for those eyebrows. Yowza. Maybe he should have just grown out the unibrow (you can totally tell his eyebrow would RUN to uni) and do Frida Kahlo drag. Oh snap, that's kind of a good idea. I call dibs! Sexy Frida drag is mine.


Random Busted Queens: