Twatlight

(Funny, a few days ago I looked through pictures from the set of New Moon and noticed all the actors smoking. I thought I'd make a collage to put up here, but it looks like someone did it for me!)

I'm sorry to say I watched Twilight yesterday. My assessment after watching was, "um. . . I thought the score was acceptable at some points." It was kind of boring, and it offered no reason to care about the characters. In fact, I wanted them all to die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. And just like the book, Bella and Edward fall in love in roughly 2.5 minutes and care for each other for no apparent reason. Just think, this fall you can treat yourself to a couple more hours of that bullshit, but WITH DAKOTA FANNING!

[WHOA. Side note. I thought it would be funny to insert a video here of the Dakota Fanning Show skit from SNL. I searched for it on YouTube and found many slide shows of Dakota Fanning set to Shitney Spears' "If U Seek Amy." What the fuck?!? This shit is wrong. I'm sticking with Hulu from now on.]









Kristen Stewart is really good at "playing" an aloof, ungrateful, melodramatic, and self-centered bitch.



I have to admit I found Robert Pattinson quite attractive. His American accent made him sound like every black comedian's impression of a white person, but it strangely made him endearing. It was nice to see him not looking hobo chic for once. I suppose I wouldn't mind being in a vampire/werewolf orgy (oops, Jacob's a werewolf in case you couldn't tell from the heavy-handed foreshadowing for dummies). Minus the black one. What? I just didn't find him as cute as the other lighter skinned, not-of-African-heritage actors.





In conclusion, it sucked balls in a bad way, with the hot guys serving as the only redeeming factor. Oh and I just started reading the second book. . .

I Hate Myself

I've been making fun of Twilight for some time now even though I haven't read the book or seen the movie. I've just read a lot of material about how poorly the books are written and how much the movie sucks. I decided I needed to get some firsthand dirt on it, so I started to read the first book. I'm only a few chapters into it, but so far I'm a little disappointed because it's not quite as bad as I thought it would be. I just don't want to end up enjoying it. I want so badly to hate it, and so far I hate the characters and the style, but I'm sure there's more suckiness to come. I made sure to download free copies of the books because I don't want to add to the author's sales. I read that 10% of the money goes to the Mormon church. I've met plenty of cool Mormons with whom I got along great and didn't think I was going to hell or anything, but in light of the whole Prop 8 debacle, I would feel like a major hypocrite knowlingly giving them support. So here I go on my self-loathing adventure in the land of sparkly vampires and umsympathetic heroines.