Presented Without Commentary: Randoms

I was cleaning out the photos on my phone and thought I might share some selections.

Textual Intercourse: Musings on Ina Garten

me: On Ina this morning, she was saying how truffle butter is surprisingly inexpensive and bragging about how expensive saffron is lol

Mia:  hahaha she's ridic

Mia:  Love her

me:  It was outrageous and so perfectly her

Mia:  How many times did she mention that saffron is the stamen of crocuses

me:  Just once

Mia:  Lame

me:  She had it in a little clear box like crack rocks

Mia:  Hahaha omg it is Ina crack

Mia:  Crack is prob cheaper than saffron

me:  Lol

me:  She crushes and snorts it.  Freebasing saffron

Mia:  melting it down on the spoon

me:  See how it turns the liquid in the syringe that gorgeous yellow? How bad could that be?

Mia:  find a GOOD vein

me:  Hahahahahahaha

Mia:   :)

me:  If your arm is too riddled with track marks, between your toes is fine

Mia:  Lol we are horrible

Cupcakes Will Never Be The Same

EDIT: I realized I left off the link for the actual story.  If you want to punish yourself and cry yourself to sleep tonight, feel free to check it out here!

G.I. Joe says knowing is half the battle.  Knowledge is also power.  But knowledge can also be a seedy bitch.  Have you ever wished you could unlearn something so as to remain ignorant to how scarring it is?  I do.  It has to do with an obsession of mine, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.  Now I'd seen references to this bit I wish I could forget, but I didn't even know it at the time.  Pictures of my favorite pony dressed serving serial killer realness?  Sure, that sounds fun!  Or so I thought.  I'd seen pictures like this and found them amusing.

Little did I know how disturbing it really was.  As I was browsing pony memes yesterday, I saw a seemingly benign post for a "Cupcakes Fanfiction" entry.  Well.  This infamous fanfic by Sargeant Sprinkles is like a whale cock mind rape with acid for lube.  There is just something so fucked up about the happiest, most upbeat and lovable character performing Hostile-style torture on another innocent pony for no reason that hurts my soul.  It reminds me of how as a child I would cry out of frustration when watching the Nightmare On Elm Street movies.  I just couldn't wrap my head around WHY Freddy was so horrible.  Give me gore, give me violence, but sometimes I need a reason.  The other thing is, part of me LIKED it.  I enjoy feeling uncomfortable and angry over a disturbing movie (or book, etc).  For instance, Funny Games is some fucked up shit that happens without motivation, but I like how it affects me.  Not this.  I wish I never learned about it.  I wish I could go back.  Then of course I had to torment myself with the various interpretations of the story on YouTube.

Fun with Glitter Pens

Everything is prettier in glitter pen!!

See!

 Even THIS is pretty in glitter pen:

Get Huh

Once again, I've gotten way behind on here. It's not that I haven't had funny exploits or things to share--I'm just lazy. I'll try to be better about keeping up with posting the stupid shit that happens in my life. Starting with this.

I heard a snippet of this song a long time ago in the Gay Pimpin podcast and becamse obsessed with the line "how dare she talk to me like that and she's standing by the stairs. I'll push her down backwards!" But I never looked into it until recently. I was finally inspired to put my lazy fingers to work on Google, and found out that it's from a classic bitch track called "Get Huh" by Ride Committee. Here are a couple lovely versions as well as the full lyrics below. Enjoy it and put it to good use cutting bitches.





It's longer than Pinocchio's...

Every day it grows and grows...

Yooooou've got Barbara Streisand's nose!


Get Huh!


C'mon now.

Back up Queen! You're dreadful!

The Chinese Queen looks like Bruce Lee!

10! 10! 10! 10! 10's across the board!

She's got really dreadful skin...

She's got Ethel Merman's chins...

She looks like the sea hag! I hate her!

Get huh! Get Huh! Get huh!

Deee-slay her! Defame her!

Push her!

Trip her!

Shove her!

I hate her.

Ulgh!

Get huh! Get Huh!

Get huh!

10! 10! 10! 10! 10's across the board!

How dare she talk to me like that and she's standing by the stairs...

I'll push her down backwards! I'll push her down backwards!

Get huh! Get Huh!

Get huh!

10! 10! 10! 10! 10's across the board!

Get huh! Get Huh!

Get huh!

I hate huh!

I'll rip out her eyes and put em in the punch bowl!

She's so ugly... and got the nerve to be smilin' up in my boyfriend's face.

Elch!

Get huh!

That wig looks like a helmet! Get huh!

She looks like Mr Snuffalupagus!

That bitch looks like she lives in a tree!

In fact, the bitch IS a tree!

Kick her in the cunt!

La quiero matar! I'll put her down backwards!

Gag!

Ugly!

Fuck huh!

She's an onion pussy bitch I hate huh!

She's hideous I hate huh!

Trip her.

Defame huh!

Deee-slay huh!

She's a deee-lite wanna be deee-fake, deee-phoney, deee-foolish...

She looks like a freak from a low budget movie... get huh!

She looks like Don Knotts in drag!

C'mon now!

Look at those craters on her face!

Her face looks like swiss cheese, it looks like the Meeewwwn!

She's horrendeous!

She's got a pizza face!

Weird Shit

I love an awkward video.

Pinkie Pie's Party

Look, pay no attention to this post.  I just need to collect a few pictures together for an outside opinion.  Just enjoy the pretty pictures of a pony.

Fun with Merlin

I've been really into the BBC Merlin series recently. I've blown through 2.5 seasons this week. As well as 1.5 of The Hunger Games Trilogy... I guess I've been pretty bored. Anyway, this short scene in Merlin was begging for pictures. I'm not going to bother with witty captions, because they speak for themselves.

The Real Housewives of South Boston

I really wish I'd found this sooner.  Genius.  "SUCK MY CUNT."