Not This Again

I've tried watching the new season of The Real World: Back to New Orleans. (for starters this is sacrilege, as the original New Orleans was a fantastic mess. Mormon Julie and HOT as fuck Danny with his seekret boyfriend. Perfect trash). I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it through any more episodes. It has always been a shitshow, but at least it was entertaining before. Now it just kind of hurts to watch. It's terrible and has lost its fun. Like Lindsay Lohan, you just can't enjoy the misery anymore. Because I would sooner slash my own throat than write detailed notes on an episode of this season of TRW, I'll just touch on a few points.

Ryan Leslie. This motherfucker:



He's a fourth-generation hairstylist, and claims to be straight. Fine. He's 21 and says he's a virgin. Okay, totally possible. Not everyone is a slut like you, after all. When their shitty roommate Preston (I'll get to his busted ass) makes a big production of going off to hook up with a guy, Leslie is disgusted. He made some uncalled for comments, which really just make me think he's in the closet himself. It's like he wants to defend the position that straight guys can be hairstylists, but can't admit that he's gay because the last thing he wants to do is be a stereotype. Fuck off and die, faggot. Jesus. He'll be out of the closet in a couple years, don't you worry. Just like Stephen from Seattle. Remember him? And the slap heard 'round the world? Oh that was fantastic. That bitch Irene had it coming. Not really, but her face was so slapable.

Preston. Ugh. UGH. BLARF. He is the worst. He makes me ashamed of my people. Black people that is. No, really, he sucks. He seems like a terrible person, and I would hate him in real life. First of all, he claims to be a stylist and have an amazing fashion sense. FALSE. This bitch is telling lies. Look at this asshole. He looks like a faggoty Bill Cosby:



I wouldn't trust him to style anything but a bowl of Jell-O. He and allegedly-in-the-closet Leslie don't get along, and they start pulling stunts. Leslie wipes his ass with Fagsby's cigarettes or something, and Mr. Huxtable uses Leslie's toothbrush to clean the toilet for a while and pees on it. I guess Leslie gets really sick and has to go to the hospital, and complains that it was because of the homo's shenanigan. Police were called, blah blah blah. Whatever, you know it wasn't the toilet's fault. Leslie probably got gonorrhea of the throat from dIsKrEeTlY blowing guys in bathrooms.