Haifiveku

Her vagina is

Like a TARDIS: it is bigger

On the inside

A New Low

For some reason, the phrase "put on your rape face" just magically materialized in my head. I've never seen it anywhere, but according to Google, I'm not the first to think of it. Let's just say I am. Examples:


Guy 1: Hey, bro, big party at Pi Phi tonight. Put on your rape face.


Girl 1 (on phone): The party was lame, I'm walking home alone.
Girl 2 (on phone): Uh-oh, better put on your rape face.



So. . . have fun with that.

RE: "Valley Girls" Gossip Girl Spinoff

It's nice to see that

Cynthia Watros is still

Getting work these days

He Asked For It

Brother: If anyone asks why I don't comment, I'm going to sign to you and you translate.
Me: My brother says he's sorry, but he hasn't been the same since the syphilis took his voice.

The More You Know

2 Girls 1 Cup is just the trailer for a pornographic film called Hungry Bitches. Good to know.

Haifiveku

After I put on
My robe and wizard hat, I
Crave barbeque beef

D-d-damn

I've never been into poledancing at all, but this bitch has some moves. It's rather beautiful and mesmerizing. So much so that I almost forgot she probably has sex for money.

Haifiveku

An open poem
To Tyler Perry: get the
Fuck out of Star Trek

Haifiveku

Bat For Lashes: She's
A watered down version of
Bjork for white people

Haifiveku

Although I'm not into
Her, Miley makes me feel
Like a pedophile