Get Into It

I just discovered the lovely Jolin Tsai.  She's beautiful; and she dresses and dances like a tranny.  So duh, I love her.  Real girl trannies are fun.  I really appreciate her attempt at voguing, even though it's only slightly better than Madonna's abortion voguing back in the day.  She's clearly not from the House of Dangerkat, but that's okay.  Her music is fun, but it's the videos that really clinch it for me.  Check it.  I wonder how to say "work, bitch!" in Chinese.





Unfortunately I can't embed this one, and I don't know how to snatch videos, but this version of the Agent J video is fun.

An Ass a Day

A dear friend of mine recently hired a maid.  A houseboy.  A Brit named Simon if you can believe it.  I heard he was sexy, and I asked that my friend take a discrete picture for me.  What I was not prepared for was nudity.  I didn't realize it would be a nude maid.  He was kind enough to allow me to share this with you, so please enjoy!

Textual Intercourse

 me:  yeah if someone doesn't give you good attention i would imagine you would cut him off
Brady:  I don't like to feel like I'm putting in more effort
Brady:  It makes me feel vulnerable
Brady: so I'm freezing him
Brady:  until he puts in more effort or I find someone else
me: yes.  use a piper freeze and if it doesn't get better you can always blast him
Brady: Yes, that's how healthy adults handle their relationships

Let's Play a Game

While perusing KnowYourMeme, I stumbled across something I thought was cute and fun: Close Your Eyes and Draw a Batman.  The say to use MSPaint, but fuck that.  I used pen, and that's the best way to go.  We did this exercise often in drawing classes, but instead of closing your eyes, you stay focused on what you are drawing and don't look at your sheet.  It's tough not to cheat, but is always fun.  I think I should make this a usual thing.  Maybe next week I'll do a different figure.  I'm showing you mine, so I expect and want to see yours!

Sheeit

I've been meaning to write about these bitches for a long time. I dig some Electrik Red. They are a girl group that rocks my socks off. Their sound is like the tightest mid-90sgirl group R&B.  It just sounds so on point and fun.  Also, their look is intense.  They have been dubbed "real girl trannies," and I couldn't be happier.  Their album How to Be A Lady, Volume 1 has several fantastic songs.  Sadly, my favorite doesn't have a real video, but get into "Muah."  And get into the style and the color matching; get into the sound.

Just Because

I'm going to bookmark this link because I need to have it handy.  I think this phrase in my head one hundred times a day.  It is so useful, and might be my favorite arrangement of words in all of language.  And depending on the context, it can have so many subtle meanings at once.  Please repeat and enjoy.

Textual Intercourse

picture is only tangentially related

me:  (Brady sent me a picture of an ass)  hm
me: not appealing at the moment
me: i don't know why
Brady: I think that's a nice ass
me: it is
me: it just isn't doing it for me
me: like his ass has no soul
me: i need an ass that's been cursed by some gypsies with a soul

S-A-D-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

the book is dedicated to "a Republican closet case I once knew"

Wooo!  What a wild night, huh?  Well I'm currently recovering from a lil' sickness, and I am feeling antisocial.  I'm watching the Food Network and eating way too much Panang curry.  BTW, Chicago friends, is Panang Noodle still there on Clark?  I miss that shit.  Anyway, I'm reading a literary masterpiece titled How to Rape a Straight Guy.  I know!  What the fuck, indeed!  Well, this goes back to a love/hate relationship with Amazon.  I love me some amazon.com and spend way too much money there.  The problem is, they have terrible policies regarding LGBT fiction.  Does anyone remember Amazon Fail?  We nerds do.  But even after that, I came crawling back like an abused wife, only comfortable with the familiar.  If you can find me another perfect website to order whatever I want, I'd be happy to switch.   A few weeks ago, I read an article by an outraged author detailing how his book would no longer be carried by Amazon.  I think it's some bullshit too.  Yes, the title is fucked up, but it's not a how-to guide.  It's a story.  And as he points out, there is much worse out there on Amazon's site that isn't being criticized because it isn't gay-themed.  So I knew I had to check this book out.  I couldn't find it in any compatible download formats, but I did track down a paper copy.  I've only read a chapter so far, but it's rough.  It's narrated by a tough guy who uses a lot of slang and contractions.  His speech may be colloquial, but it's written in a shitty way.  Just write "you an me ain't gettin nothin done" instead of "you an' me ain't gettin' nothin' done."  It draws attention to the speaker in a condescending way.  And the rest of the book is like that!  Not that I would expect style format to change like that, but I can wish.  Anyway, don't worry, I'm not arming myself with dangerous knowledge.  I was just hoping I'd get a few kinks out of How to Rape a Straight Guy.

Grrrr

I sleep with my phone by my pillow.  I haven't used a real alarm clock in years; and I'm single, so instead of a man next to me, there is a phone.  The point is, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to check the time.  If I noticed a text message or email notification, I might open it.  I just so happened to do that this morning.  I noticed someone commented on my last post.  Yay, I was excited.  But it was just some jerk trying to cause unfounded trouble.  I welcome criticism and opinions, but please come correct and get your facts straight.  But thanks for reading, darling, I love you, you're the best.  Come again.

Here is a palate cleanser in the form of voguing.  Oooh there is a white queen doing a death drop up in there.  And the song?  I'm sure you notice that mixed in with Nicki Minaj are snippets from Kevin Aviance's "Cunty."

A Note on A Common Term

exhibit A

I was recently asked what exactly I mean when I say shitty faggot.  This was my response:

The phenomenon of the shitty faggot is a difficult one to describe.  I'll tell you the origin even though it's kind of useless.  There was a tranny who used to be a frequent guest of my favorite gay podcast, Sophia Lamar.  She looks like a fucking trainwreck, and she pretty much seems like a bitter cunt.  She had a little segment where she talked about things she hated.  One such thing is the shitty faggot.  This type of homosexual might tan, wear gel, have a tribal tattoo, do crystal meth, and other stuff.  So....whatever that means.  I just stole the term from her.  My use is really kind of vague.  A queer who is ashamed of his gayness would be a shitty faggot.  Or guys who are obsessed with being a bro and calling themselves masculine,  Or ones who are all about going out and partying.  Bitchy gay guys who spread lies about people.  Just, poor examples of human beings, but who happen to be homosexual.  Does that make any sense?  I just know when someone is a shitty faggot.

I forgot an important one:  asymmetrical haircuts.

Sniznesia

I'm not a big Britney Spears fan.  I was going through my music collection recently, and I only have a handful of songs plus her most Circus album (given to me free, mind you).  I used to be really entertained by her antics, but then they got scary.  I wish her nothing but the best, and I never want to see her lose it again.  BUT it's fun to imagine.  Imaginary Britney on Jonny McGovern's podcast is enough dysfunction for me.  She's all about flashing her pussy, purple drank, and tricking people into holding her babies while she peaces the fuck out.  Those "BABIES ARE BORING!" and she wants custody of them ZERO DAYS.  Anyway, I haven't been able to get this song out of my head all day.  As far as Britney is concerned, this is my favorite.  It's catchier than chlamydia, and has a fun retro vibe.  Get into it.

Proverbial Strippers and Coke

You know that abortion you had last March?  Well the time it would have taken to carry that thing to term is how long it took me to stumble across this video.  I may be late to the party, but I brought proverbial strippers and coke, and I appreciate it.  Nerds of the world, please enjoy.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

My New Dance. . .

. . . is super old, but new to me.  Check out Beyonce's dance to "Check on It," 2:07 - 2:47.  The hoppy stomping, the fake gum chewing, the WEAVE PATTING.  It's insanely fantastic.

Tranny of the Day

Work, Ericka

Featuring one of my personal favorties:  Erickatoure Aviance.  She was a regular guest on the podcast Gay Pimpin' with Jonny McGovern, and she turns it on a regular basis.  She is a badass, and her EP is damn good.  Go to iTunes and get it now so you can work to such hits as "I'm Grown and I Do What I Want," "My Pumps," and "Behind the Waterfall."

p.s. she is the queen in the middle in the first video.

Textual Intercourse, Episode II: The Snizzening

and later. . .

sniz:  damn i just put my running shorts on lol

me:  then run that tight ass over here

Textual Intercourse, Episode I: Desperately Snizzing Susan

me:  want to come fuck?

sniz:  lol i just ate dinner i feel like a pig lol

me:  boo, you whore

Textual Intercourse

Brady:  for some reason I'm getting a boner

me:  you get a boner when the wind blows