Sweet Dreams

I had a dream last night that I was taking part in one of those Food Network sugar competitions. I just remember pulling a packed sugar figurine out of a mold along with my co-chef (a sassy black woman of course). It was a little less than a foot tall, and it was our prototype. We knew if it went well, we would be making many more. It was a sugar statuette of Bea Arthur, complete with shoulderpads, gown shape, and what would eventually be a sequins clutch purse. This bitch was ready for the big charity ball! Sidenote: damn, those old bitches were always going to charity balls. Imagine how many jersey sequins super-scoop-neck-to-the-knee tops and floor-length skirts those twats had. !!! I know, right? I remember thinking that it was shaped so well and all we had to do was airbrush it. The interesting part was that it must have been brown sugar. I guess we were making Black Bea Arthur. You know that exclamation (well, you nerds might) "Merlin's beard?" Well, I want to start saying "Bea Arthur's beard!" It's not "fetch," I'm going to make this happen.

Spilling the Bea. No Rose, Honey, Only the Bea

I was just going through it, having a seriously deep moment for Ms. Bea Arthur. I thought I'd share this tidbit:



It's fun and in the vein of her great musical theater style.

p.s. Was this bitch ever young? I guess I've seen her at forty-something in Mame, but damn, even that is middle-aged. Whatever, she's doing the Charleston with Jesus right about now.

It Started With A Dare

This is how it began:

Brady: ok

Brady: I dare you to post an outrageous craigslist

Brady: like that

Brady: For example.....

Brady: Headline: Looking for Older Bea Arthur type

me: i love it already

Brady: Golden Girls fetish. You be Dorthy and I'll be young Mario Lopez who doesn't want to go back to Mexico

Brady: You enter my paper in a local essay contest to have me deported because you are secretly molesting me

Brady: Must bring cheesecake to eat out of my ass while I scream YES PUSSY CAT

And this is the result:

My friend was even nice enough to provide the picture for the post. I'll also include the second place picture that didn't quite make the cut. It seemed to have posted, but I didn't receive any responses. Sadness :(

I think today we'll try a Harry Potter themed post.