Ummm. . . What?

Are you looking for a new ho anthem? Is your old rape song worn out and tired? Well here's a new one! This bitch Kiely Williams is a former member of 3LW (I don't know if she was the one provided the lyrics in that song saying "promitheth, promitheth") and the Cheetah Girls. She's 23 years old. It is sung horribly, but pay attention to the words. You might miss the sluttiness.

She Has Risen!

Happy Sheaster, bitches! Today is the day to dress up in pastels, slap a church hat on, and put on your best tranny face. Do it for Jesus--she wore a dress every day after all.

Surprise Of The Century

Confirming what everyone has known for a very long time, Ricky Martin has revealed his faggotry. The first thing I though of were the hot pictures of him and his "workout partner" on the beach.

Well Excuse The Fuck Out Of Me

http://roflrazzi.com/2010/03/23/celebrity-pictures-russell-fat-camp/

Jeez, sorry, you little fat bastard.

For Your Pleasure

More Golden Shower Girls!

Textual Intercourse: I Can Has Weiner?

me: a smile from that

Brady: I see have his weiner

me: HA

Brady: half

me: that's your subconscious telling you that you want it

me: oh you want him

me: you want to half his weiner in your mouth

How Could I Forget?

I can't believe it didn't occur to me to post this until just now. First, look at a couple pictures for me:




Cute, right?



He's attractive in a generic kind of way. Here's the thing though--this is what he used to look like:

Oh snap! Tranny trick! That's a really good one though. Not like Chaz Bono. It's interesting how it comes so naturally to call him Chaz. It's already weird for me to think that there was ever a Chastity Bono. I wonder if he had male junk yet? I guess he retired from pole vaulting (snicker snicker) in 2007 and looks like this now, so odds are he got his cock and balls. It prompted me to read up and brush up on the different ways that sex reassignment surgeries are performed. I'll spare you, but know that one day it should be possible for men who become women to use a donor uterus to carry a baby. But then can you have a vaginal delivery? Hmm, more to learn.

The picture below is Loren Cameron: the confusing icing on the tranny cake of the day.

Hey Now, Hey Now, This Is What Nightmares Are Made Of

I'm not sure where to begin with this one. Perhaps with a great big WTF? Now that I've gotten that out of the way, here's my first question: why put on the second mask? Is it supposed to be a statement on ageism and the perception of beauty? Because really, it is just creepy. This bitch also just ruined Billy Holiday for me. That first song, "Don't Explain" was one of my favorites, but now it will be forever linked to a scary guy who gets off on dressing up as a bootleg Golden Girl. And why are the gloves black? If you're going to go to the trouble of making a "life-like" geriatric drag mask, why not go for life-like hands? Put some liver spots up on that shit. My final issue with it is something I can't really confirm because I refuse to watch the video a second time. I don't think this guy blinked ONCE the whole time. He should really put some effort into his theatrical design. I kept looking at his surroundings and making up stories. What are those binders on the right side of the screen? I imagine they are financial documents he needs in order to file his taxes. He keeps meticulous records of everything he purchases in order to bring Hagatha to life. Do you think he can mark down all the latex gear as a write-off?

Dick Towel

Remember dick towel from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia? You don't? Well here:




Now some rapper named Kool Keith (are we supposed to know who he is?) put his stank on it, and it's mildy enjoyable, so have at it, cretins:

Poor Guy

I was at Walgreens earlier this week and the guy in front of me in the checkout line was buying Abreva. Look, I'm not going to judge this guy, he's just doing what he has to do, but here's the funny part: he was buying it with a coupon. That in itself isn't funny, but apparently the coupon was in some booklet, and the cashier was taking forever to find it. The poor guy was so cute and looked embarrassed. I wanted to say, "it's okay, baby, I'd still fuck you." Here's the lesson: never buy anything you would want to keep quiet with a coupon. The three dollars you'll be saving are not worth the loss in pride.