Textual Intercourse

Brady: do you think brown underwear would go with my skin tone?

me: that might be the gayest thing you've ever said

me: but yes.

YES

Perfect.

Just. . . PERFECT.

Medical Pamphlets

There are some hilarious medical pamphlets out there. I've selected a few to share.

Of course these faggots with the early 90s hair are in the one for HIV.



For all you trannies looking to get the chop, this one's for you!




And what to do with your brand new penins/vagina:




I love this one. Bitch on the right is totally smizing. And old girl in the middle is throwing some serious shade. She isn't telling you you're ugly, but she doesn't have to tell you because you know you're ugly. (thanks, Dorian Corey)

There are some hilarious medical pamphlets out there. I've selected a few to share.

Textual Intercourse

Brady: I kind of wanted a danish and I was standing in line behind these fat people and I was overcome with like a feeling of self consciousness and felt really fat and I didn't get it.

me: aw so instead you're dining on sit-ups and tears

Brady: Well I shouldn't spend the money anyway.

me: you're right. that $2 could buy you....a travel packet of lube maybe. so you can get your sniz pounded anywhere

Brady: of course you know what that costs

me: ; )

Textual Intercourse

Brady: I'm really sad. I just killed a baby bird on accident :(

me: aww black baby jesus will forgive you. it was an accident

Brady: Well they made a nest under the patio and I pushed it over earlier in the week coz they were making a mess (no eggs) and suddenly they had built a new one so I pushed it over and there was an egg in it :(

me: well are you sure it had a chick in it? maybe it wasn't fertilized yet. or something, i'm not clear on how birds do that

Brady: lol yes. Birds fuck. It's not like the male jiz goes through the egg shell after it's laid.

Brady: well I guess you have a point. It could be just an unfertilized egg that would never have hatched. Female parrots in cages sometimes just lay eggs but the male has to fertilize it before she lays it or it's pretty much just a period.

Brady: chances are that doesn't happen much in nature. There's always a bro willing to fuck a receptive female.

me: there, maybe you didn't just cause an avian abortion

Brady: ha that did make me smile

me: your subconscious Jiz took over and said KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT

me: think of it this way...you saved the mother from having another goddamn baby on her goddamn back

Just A Regular Day

I don't know about you, but I ride magical horses and shoot rainbows out of my nipples on the daily. Trust.

Textual Intercourse

me: so I guess I'm seeing Sniz and the Shitty 2 with my aunt





Brady: I couldn't see that with a relative. I'm sure there is at least one dildo in it.





me: nah, it's cool. She's up to her elbows in vag all day.

Rabbit?

The girl who was in my new apartment before me left this in addition to all the crap I bought from her:



It took me a while to figure out what it was. It took so long because I didn't want to touch it. Obviously because it looks like a fucking dildo. Apparently it is a hand-held air pump. So. . . yeah, maybe still a sex toy. I don't know? Maybe she was a freak-nasty ho.

That Hurt My Feelgoods

Where's Waldo

Oh shit, is that Saffron from Absolutely Fabulous?? I didn't know a bitch got abducted.