Phew. What a great weekend. I got the chance to finally meet my podcast cohost Travis in the flesh. I trained up to Chicago Saturday morning, and true to form, there were several cute guys on my train. The problem is that so many of them are metrosexual, and I can’t figure out what they are. Which shouldn’t matter, but for some reason it is important to my fantasies of fucking them in the bathroom.
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| exhibit A |
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I’m not going to go into great detail here because we cover pretty much everything in a special in-person recording of One and a Half F*gs that we did earlier today. Suffice it to say, it was the most TRANTASTIC 24-hour period of my life. Sasha Colby still reigns as best female impersonator and performer. Period. Here’s something we failed to mention on the recording: The group in front of us was all bridal group, and the bride came over to greet them. She air kissed every last one of those sluts on each cheek. After three times, I asked Travis if this bitch was going to do that to everyone. She sure did. It took a good five minutes. Then as we were walking in, a girl in front of my pointed to Sasha’s picture and said “I would be her. I would be it.” After you listen to the show you will know that I get righteously pissed off when people pull that kind of stunt. I immediately put on a judgy face with a disgusted sneer and a MAD stink eye. Bitch must have felt the daggers of pure white hate penetrating her thick skull, because she turned around and got a full dose to her FACE. I SHAMED that bitch. Then I said to Travis loudly, “fuck that bitch, I can see her extensions anyway.” What? I could. She had messy Britney Spears style crap extensions.
So here are some highlights:
These amazing paintings are available at the comics store in Boystown.
I really wanted to just snatch all of them up, but I got the three that I deemed best:
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| "YOU TAKE MY BREATH AWAY" |
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| "DO RIGHT AND KILL EVERYTHING" is my new mantra |
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| "THAT'S RIGHT. I'M DOING ME." |
At the bars, I wasn’t getting enough attention to soothe my fragile ego, so I texted Brady. His advice was “slut up your outfit. Show a little sniz.” Ha, that wasn’t really an option. So although I wasn’t getting eyefucked to satisfaction, I signed into Snizdr. It started off slowly, but I ended up getting plenty of flattering there. Then this morning we conducted a little experiment. I posted a Craigsniz ad with a shirtless picture of myself, including my FACE. Don't go looking for it, I already snatched it down. But I got plenty of responses, and hot DAMN, some of them make me want to move. There was one guy in particular. It's funny though, I realized that he also wrote to me on Snizdr, where he claimed he was 23. On Craigsniz, he claimed 27. Which probably means he's around 33. Faggot math is a little tricky. Anyway.... he was short, pale, and Jewy. That is my holy trinity of sniz.
More randoms:
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| Evidence of Travis' fancy eating habits |
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| BAM. Too bad it was the same time as the show we went to. |
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| This chawld had the nerve to tag in daylight along a bus route. |
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| Platform wedges, regardless of material, are never acceptable. |
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| Patrons of the 3:00 a.m. redline train. |
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| I would have proposed had he been in my car on the train back to town. |
