Alejandro!

Remember than annoying ass bitch from whatever season of Heroes? Yeah, the Mexican one. Woof, her plotline needed to be aborted soooo bad. That was unfortunate, I really like that actress. She was sexy and fun in X-Men: The Last Stand.

Thanks, Bro

My brother was nice enough to go to my place during lunch yesterday and turn on my airconditioning on since it was so insanely hot. While there, he left me this sticky note, attached to the inside lid of my trash can:

Not This Again

I've tried watching the new season of The Real World: Back to New Orleans. (for starters this is sacrilege, as the original New Orleans was a fantastic mess. Mormon Julie and HOT as fuck Danny with his seekret boyfriend. Perfect trash). I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it through any more episodes. It has always been a shitshow, but at least it was entertaining before. Now it just kind of hurts to watch. It's terrible and has lost its fun. Like Lindsay Lohan, you just can't enjoy the misery anymore. Because I would sooner slash my own throat than write detailed notes on an episode of this season of TRW, I'll just touch on a few points.

Ryan Leslie. This motherfucker:



He's a fourth-generation hairstylist, and claims to be straight. Fine. He's 21 and says he's a virgin. Okay, totally possible. Not everyone is a slut like you, after all. When their shitty roommate Preston (I'll get to his busted ass) makes a big production of going off to hook up with a guy, Leslie is disgusted. He made some uncalled for comments, which really just make me think he's in the closet himself. It's like he wants to defend the position that straight guys can be hairstylists, but can't admit that he's gay because the last thing he wants to do is be a stereotype. Fuck off and die, faggot. Jesus. He'll be out of the closet in a couple years, don't you worry. Just like Stephen from Seattle. Remember him? And the slap heard 'round the world? Oh that was fantastic. That bitch Irene had it coming. Not really, but her face was so slapable.

Preston. Ugh. UGH. BLARF. He is the worst. He makes me ashamed of my people. Black people that is. No, really, he sucks. He seems like a terrible person, and I would hate him in real life. First of all, he claims to be a stylist and have an amazing fashion sense. FALSE. This bitch is telling lies. Look at this asshole. He looks like a faggoty Bill Cosby:



I wouldn't trust him to style anything but a bowl of Jell-O. He and allegedly-in-the-closet Leslie don't get along, and they start pulling stunts. Leslie wipes his ass with Fagsby's cigarettes or something, and Mr. Huxtable uses Leslie's toothbrush to clean the toilet for a while and pees on it. I guess Leslie gets really sick and has to go to the hospital, and complains that it was because of the homo's shenanigan. Police were called, blah blah blah. Whatever, you know it wasn't the toilet's fault. Leslie probably got gonorrhea of the throat from dIsKrEeTlY blowing guys in bathrooms.

The Giving Tree: How It Should Have Gone Down

The SkinNY

Now this is a show I would watch.

Trannylicious

I know I post about trannies practically every day, but I wasn't looking for this one. I swear. It came up in a completely unrelated YouTube search. It's good though! This tranny has some fun songs. I recommend heading over to iTunes and getting the album. It's silly fun.

Fat Tranny

Why Do I Love Thee?

Well, my love for Drop Dead Diva is back. I watched it last year when I was incapacitated and had nothing else to see. I grudgingly enjoyed it. It's silly and ridiculous, but it has its good points. The star is a thick girl, which is pretty awesome. She can act her ass off, and she has a good singing voice (which they really had to contrive to work into the show). It's cool to see a big girl in a starring role instead of some skinny bitch. Margaret Cho co-stars, and she's decent. I mean, she doesn't exactly shine when she can't talk about pussy, cock, and shit. There are also some great guest stars like Rosie O'Donnell, Paula Abdul (yuck, but yay if you're into her), and Faith Prince. Faith who? She was the wife of the mobster in that fantastically terrible Barry Gordon's The Last Dragon, which I hear is being remade. Blarf. She was also in some Encyclopedia show on HBO when I was a kid, and I loved that shit. She sings and has a funny voice and is great. She's put on a little weight in the face, but whatever, so have you. My favorite part of the show is the main character's guardian angel: Ben Feldman. Yum. Perfect. He also sings, but I guess he has an okay voice, so it's tolerable. I think he's made my list of top 3. Among them is Alexander Skaarsgard of True Blood. He's really just on the list because he's so pretty. I also have a big crush on Chris Hardwick. He's cute, pulls of a great scruffy look, hilarious, and sober. All things I like. Ben Feldman is really trying to work his way up to number one though.

This Trick Is an Illusion

This bitch is funny! I have to say too many girls pull the raccoon look that she does when she beats her face. It's not cute, but I guess guys are into it? Yuck. She's so much cuter without makeup. She should definitely go for the natural look. I could do her beat, and she'd look cuter than the chola-esque business she has going on: and I draw makeup on like Katherine fucking Hepburn.

Predators

The movie was fun! I mean, it was a stupid action movie, but as far as they go, it was a good one. There was a little gore, which I approve of, but they didn't take it to an absurd level. Of course the premise is stupid, but what else would I expect? It's not going to be some Oscar-worthy drama with predator aliens mixed in.

Onto the meat. By meat, I mean Adrien Brody. He's really a two-face for me. One face is busted and ugly. The other is sexy and rapeable. Hm, I guess spellcheck doesn't like my "rapeable" word. Oh well, I can lobby to get it added to dictionaries. Since you brought up the R topic, there was actually a somewhat funny rape joke in the movie. It involved Topher Grace, who is in his own right rapeable. The joke was something about how this prisoner wanted to rape so many "fine bitches" when he got home. "What time is it? Five o'clock? Time to rape some fine ass bitches." Topher then replies that it is bitch-raping time or something. Nevermind. I guess you had to be there. Anyway, back to the point: Adrien Brody was looking GOOD. He obviously did some bulking for this film, but since he was so skinny to begin with, it works for him. He doesn't look like a juicehead guido. He especially looked good firing guns. I now understand why some straight guys are into watching women shoot guns. At the end he's shirtless and slathered in mud. HOT. Go see Predators if you like blood and sex.