Spilling the Bea. No Rose, Honey, Only the Bea

I was just going through it, having a seriously deep moment for Ms. Bea Arthur. I thought I'd share this tidbit:



It's fun and in the vein of her great musical theater style.

p.s. Was this bitch ever young? I guess I've seen her at forty-something in Mame, but damn, even that is middle-aged. Whatever, she's doing the Charleston with Jesus right about now.

California Geriatrics

This is going to haunt my dreams tonight. The old man in the wig has a HUGE fucking head. Damn. It's so scary. And the lyrics are quite disturbing. Props for the balls to be doing it though. A friend insisted that I give the other oldie credit for having a decent body for his age. Whatever. Maybe in 40 years I'll find it attractive. I never understood that. As we age, do we find other old people attractive? Anyway, one of the young guys looks like he could be really cute, but he's not in it enough.

Beweave It Again

Pat and sniff weave: genius. I want popsicle scent.

Racist?

Okay some people might think this video is really racist, but it's a joke. A funny one. A somewhat racist joke. But still hilarious! I guess this girl just released a country music single and was in Legally Blonde the musical. Now she can add pretend racist kkkunt to her CV.

Centipede

I've known about this song for a while now, but I thought I'd finally share the beauty that is the music video. It's "Centipede" by Rebbie Jackson--the eldest of the Jacksons. The song is terrible and somewhat fun. The video is horrendous and amazing. The dance moves. The lightning shooting off everything. The snake. the tiger. The look on Rebbie's face at the very beginning when she lays eyes on the painting. Just amazing. The song makes me feel disgusting though. The first thing I think of is an actual centipede. And not just any centipede--the mukade. i think I might have posted about it before, but here it is again:

The next thing I think of is the movie The Human Centipede: First Sequence (yes, it is the first of a planned trilogy). It's about a sadistic surgeon who attaches a guy's asshole to a girl's mouth and her asshole to another girl's mouth and then tries to train/keep it like a pet. Yikes. I know. Sooo. . . your legacy is somewhat tainted, Rebbie. Sorry, girl!

Trannychaser

You know you love it.

We Have a Winner

Wow. Just wow. I just watched perhaps the most disturbing porn. And I've seen some disturbing shit. There's one where maybe 20 guys cum in a shotglass, which is then frozen and subsequently inserted into a guy's anus. That's not the disturbing one I just saw. The video in question started off so normal. An extremely cute guy is blowing a soft, so-so-looking guy. Throughout the beginning, Cute Guy gives Pudge adorable puppy eyes, and it couldn't be cuter. Then the deepthroating begins. Which is fine. Whatever. Like in real life, in porn, deepthroating is acceptable in brief intervals. It really doesn't feel that great, but it's nice to look at every now and then. After a few minutes, it becomes apparent that the video is focusing on DT. Then it happens. With Pudge's cock all the way down, we hear a liquidy gurgle as CG's cheeks puff. No, we think. It can't be. That scenario can occur without actually throwing up. But CG pulls himself off Pudge, and what we fear becomes reality: the spew spills to the floor. I'm at least grateful it's not chunky. It's like. . . beer vomit. You know what I mean. By now, CG is sweaty with effort and the physical reaction of gagging/vomiting. He looks good like that, so vomit aside, it's still enjoyable. Maybe it was a fluke. Hey, I've heard horror stories of such things. Perhaps the editors just left it in. Oh no. The next 25 minutes consist of the same thing. Deepthroat, spew, repeat. It was horrifying, but still kind of arousing? That's not something I need to try in real life to know I wouldn't like. In the end, the cumshot is disappointing. Truly, what can top all the gagging and spewing? A simple swallowing cumshot pales in comparison. Which makes me wonder: since this is part 1 of 13, what the hell are the rest like? Stay tuned, maybe I'll make it through them.

California Gays

I can get behind a good gay spoof. This one is just funny. Is it just me, or are all these homos unfuckable? I'm sorry, you have your place, but I'm just not into dancing queens. I love how it must have been the last day of shooting, and they were like, "shit! we're a bunch of whities, it might look bad. We need diversity stat!" So they threw in a couple Asians and five seconds of a black guy. Also: I love you, Guy Branum.

A Peek Into Sadiston's Future

I guess there's going to be another Pee Wee Herman movie. I don't know, I didn't pay attention because my eyes were drawn to this beauty. Is it just me, or does Miss Yvonne look exactly like a future Jennifer Aniston? Well, minus all the cats of course.

Fuck Tyler Perry

The formula of a Tyler Perry movie: