Fat Tranny

Why Do I Love Thee?

Well, my love for Drop Dead Diva is back. I watched it last year when I was incapacitated and had nothing else to see. I grudgingly enjoyed it. It's silly and ridiculous, but it has its good points. The star is a thick girl, which is pretty awesome. She can act her ass off, and she has a good singing voice (which they really had to contrive to work into the show). It's cool to see a big girl in a starring role instead of some skinny bitch. Margaret Cho co-stars, and she's decent. I mean, she doesn't exactly shine when she can't talk about pussy, cock, and shit. There are also some great guest stars like Rosie O'Donnell, Paula Abdul (yuck, but yay if you're into her), and Faith Prince. Faith who? She was the wife of the mobster in that fantastically terrible Barry Gordon's The Last Dragon, which I hear is being remade. Blarf. She was also in some Encyclopedia show on HBO when I was a kid, and I loved that shit. She sings and has a funny voice and is great. She's put on a little weight in the face, but whatever, so have you. My favorite part of the show is the main character's guardian angel: Ben Feldman. Yum. Perfect. He also sings, but I guess he has an okay voice, so it's tolerable. I think he's made my list of top 3. Among them is Alexander Skaarsgard of True Blood. He's really just on the list because he's so pretty. I also have a big crush on Chris Hardwick. He's cute, pulls of a great scruffy look, hilarious, and sober. All things I like. Ben Feldman is really trying to work his way up to number one though.

This Trick Is an Illusion

This bitch is funny! I have to say too many girls pull the raccoon look that she does when she beats her face. It's not cute, but I guess guys are into it? Yuck. She's so much cuter without makeup. She should definitely go for the natural look. I could do her beat, and she'd look cuter than the chola-esque business she has going on: and I draw makeup on like Katherine fucking Hepburn.

Predators

The movie was fun! I mean, it was a stupid action movie, but as far as they go, it was a good one. There was a little gore, which I approve of, but they didn't take it to an absurd level. Of course the premise is stupid, but what else would I expect? It's not going to be some Oscar-worthy drama with predator aliens mixed in.

Onto the meat. By meat, I mean Adrien Brody. He's really a two-face for me. One face is busted and ugly. The other is sexy and rapeable. Hm, I guess spellcheck doesn't like my "rapeable" word. Oh well, I can lobby to get it added to dictionaries. Since you brought up the R topic, there was actually a somewhat funny rape joke in the movie. It involved Topher Grace, who is in his own right rapeable. The joke was something about how this prisoner wanted to rape so many "fine bitches" when he got home. "What time is it? Five o'clock? Time to rape some fine ass bitches." Topher then replies that it is bitch-raping time or something. Nevermind. I guess you had to be there. Anyway, back to the point: Adrien Brody was looking GOOD. He obviously did some bulking for this film, but since he was so skinny to begin with, it works for him. He doesn't look like a juicehead guido. He especially looked good firing guns. I now understand why some straight guys are into watching women shoot guns. At the end he's shirtless and slathered in mud. HOT. Go see Predators if you like blood and sex.

Spilling the Bea. No Rose, Honey, Only the Bea

I was just going through it, having a seriously deep moment for Ms. Bea Arthur. I thought I'd share this tidbit:



It's fun and in the vein of her great musical theater style.

p.s. Was this bitch ever young? I guess I've seen her at forty-something in Mame, but damn, even that is middle-aged. Whatever, she's doing the Charleston with Jesus right about now.

California Geriatrics

This is going to haunt my dreams tonight. The old man in the wig has a HUGE fucking head. Damn. It's so scary. And the lyrics are quite disturbing. Props for the balls to be doing it though. A friend insisted that I give the other oldie credit for having a decent body for his age. Whatever. Maybe in 40 years I'll find it attractive. I never understood that. As we age, do we find other old people attractive? Anyway, one of the young guys looks like he could be really cute, but he's not in it enough.

Beweave It Again

Pat and sniff weave: genius. I want popsicle scent.

Racist?

Okay some people might think this video is really racist, but it's a joke. A funny one. A somewhat racist joke. But still hilarious! I guess this girl just released a country music single and was in Legally Blonde the musical. Now she can add pretend racist kkkunt to her CV.

Centipede

I've known about this song for a while now, but I thought I'd finally share the beauty that is the music video. It's "Centipede" by Rebbie Jackson--the eldest of the Jacksons. The song is terrible and somewhat fun. The video is horrendous and amazing. The dance moves. The lightning shooting off everything. The snake. the tiger. The look on Rebbie's face at the very beginning when she lays eyes on the painting. Just amazing. The song makes me feel disgusting though. The first thing I think of is an actual centipede. And not just any centipede--the mukade. i think I might have posted about it before, but here it is again:

The next thing I think of is the movie The Human Centipede: First Sequence (yes, it is the first of a planned trilogy). It's about a sadistic surgeon who attaches a guy's asshole to a girl's mouth and her asshole to another girl's mouth and then tries to train/keep it like a pet. Yikes. I know. Sooo. . . your legacy is somewhat tainted, Rebbie. Sorry, girl!

Trannychaser

You know you love it.