Tuesday, December 30, 2008

What?

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A friend of mine has a black body pillow. His ex-girlfriend calls it Barack Obama because it's black. I added that it's extra appropriate because both are white on the inside.

No Excuses

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I got home to make lunch, and what do I spy on CNN but an interview with Kyle Maynard. He's a 22-year-old guy with congenital amputation. He was born with no elbows or knees (or of course the limb portions distal thereof). He was a wrestler. He can lift 400 pounds with his nubs. He's now a motivational speaker and lives in a van down by the river. Okay, well maybe not that last part. But he is HOT. Apparently he's modeled for A&F. I wonder if he'd be down with stumping someone? What is it with me and people with handicapabilities? I LOVE them, that's what! The only thing is people like him are fucking it up for the rest of us. Thanks, jackass, now I look like some lazy asshole with a chip on his shoulder.

I just imagined what a lazy asshole would look like. . . literally. Like it can't even be bothered to constrict and retain dookey. It's just like, "eh, fuck it. I quit." I think that's what happens when we age and need to wear diapers again. I look forward to that time, but that's a separate post altogether.

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