Thursday, August 30, 2012

Why Voldemort Is Gay

My friend is reading the Harry Potter books for the first time (I KNOW, it's shocking there's an adult who hasn't actually read them) and has been providing me with commentary. This is his reasoning for why Voldemort loves cock:

Here is my new HP conspiracy. Voldemort is a faggot.

We know he is obsessed with snakes and has a natural skill at "speaking their language".

The ministry of magic hates him and we have already established that they hate the gays by the way they treat Dumbledore and their botched job with lezzy Bertha Jorkins.

All of his Death Eaters (Cum Eaters) are men except for that one bitch who is clearly a fag hag with her tranny makeup and sassy attitude.

He tried to kill a baby. As we know faggots hate babies and babies hate fags.

Being skinny and smooth, he was a twink at school. This is why he hated Dumbledore, a gay man over 30, and Hagrid, a hairy bear.

Being a shitty faggot, he is an elitest.

In an attempt at living forever, he seriously fucked that face up, botched nose job and face lift. Now he is a bitter old, queen. Jealously he kills the younger, prettier Cedric Diggory.

He is obsessed with unicorns.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Manila Luzon Fish Realness

 Manila has always been one of my favorite queens from Ru Paul's Drag Race. Bitch can lipsynch for haa life. This song is forgettable and generic, but the video is cute as hell. The Feast of Fun podcast praised it when she was on the show, then trashed it when Phi Phi O'Cumdump was on. They said her looks didn't form a cohesive collection. UM, that would never be a criticism for a real girl's video. So fuck you, Fausto and . . . what's his name? Mark? Or maybe worse, Marc? Anyway, you can tell this bitch's lipsynching is spot-on and her looks are delicious. So give it a chance and get into it.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Garbage Hooker Christeene

This is my kind of drag.  Filthy look?  Check.  Nasty lyrics?  Check.  Dirty and sexual videos?  Double check.  I can hardly handle the beauty, grace, and genius that is Christeene.  Keep an eye on this whore, because I'm sure there are more genderfuck revelations to come.  GET INTO IT.  Please take extra care to note the smeared lipstick, gold tooth, and missing press-on nails.  Crack whore round-the-way realness.