Friday, July 23, 2010

I Cant Wait to Be Old



My brother to me:

I just talked with Gma for 2 hours. not bad, she was saying crazy shit. ie "i thought that if one of you two (you & me) were going to turn up gay, it'd be you." thanks, Gma

Bootleg Alias



I'm really getting into this new USA Network show Covert Affairs. It really is like a bootleg version of Alias (one of the best programs EVER). Piper Perabo is Anne, the main character who is a newbie at the CIA. Part of the reason I enjoy this show so much must be that she bears a striking resemblance to Jennifer Garner's Sydney Bristow of Alias. She even has similar speech patterns and mannerisms. I should keep an eye out for her tucking her hair behind her ear: Syd's trademark. Anne is a littler more relaxed and loose compared to Sydney's uptightness. She's not as badass as I'd like her to be, but I think she'll get there. She is after all new to the CIA, whereas we meet Sydney seven years into her tenure of the espionage trade. Sendhil Ramamurthy also costars, and he's kind of annoying. After a couple seasons on Heroes, I really came to loathe him. The Eyebrow King, Peter Gallagher, also costars as a higher-up at the agency. Whatever, he's alright. I still think of him as Sandy from The O.C. Playing the part of Anne's older sister who is in the dark concerning her spy status is Anne Dudek, one of the white bitches White Chicks. I could never imagine her in a serious role, but she really impressed me! That is partly due to her more brunette shade now, it just makes her easier to believe. Sorry, blondies. Remember Henry the hot nerd from Ugly Betty?



Mmmm I do. He costars as a blind agent. EYEROLL. He is so terrible at it, that it is almost laugh-out-loud funny at times. In the pilot, he literally looked actors in the eye several times. He needs blind lessons. Anyway, they need to wise up and just have him shirtless all the time. It's hard to say how the show will shape up, but it looks promising. After only two episodes, I'm still interested in what will become of the characters, and the mysteries that are starting to build. It seems this program will blend light mythology into stand-alone episodes, which is a compromise I can respect. I prefer mythology-heavy series, but networks frown on that, instead usually opting for Law & Order: Bullshit format. The intro is atrocious, and much too light-hearted for my taste. It's cartoony and too much fun. Tone that shit down. The action is decent, and I do love me a girl fight! Here is the ultimate in girlfighting, from the season two finale of Alias (LILA, MY LOVELY ROLLERSKATING FRIEND ON THE WEST COAST, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, DO NOT WATCH THE VIDEO, SPOILER ALERT, HO!):

Schooling the Children




We have this glorious model of woman's inner workings at my office. It's a promotional model for the Nuvaring. It is so fun! You get to see all the biznass, PLUS there's a mock Nuvaring on a string that you can practice sticking up the sniz! How amazing is that? Then you press a button, and it zooms out of the sniz! It is way too much fun. It gets better:



Nice! It even comes with a snatch-for-dummies diagram, for you queers out there who don't know your way around a lady crotch. I'm seriously going to figure out how I can get one of these models for myself. I would proudly display it in my apartment. PROUDLY.