Thursday, January 8, 2009

My Ex-Neighbor Is Probably Really Glad I'm Gone

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My last apartment was on the first floor and shared a fenced-in back patio with the rest of the residents on my side of that building. I'd never seen anyone else out there, so I was in the habit of leaving my blinds open when I was home. I never thought twice about it because no one else was ever back there. Until Hot Blond Dude moved into the apartment next to mine. HBD would sporadically be outside smoking or talking on the phone. Never at the same time as me however. When he did this, he was always crossing in front of my window and sitting in the chairs that were literally right outside my door. Most of the time I just forgot the blinds were open and went about my business--including "me time" of the self-abusing nature.

Then during one quality time session, after a while, for some reason I looked over at my window, and caught the glance of HBD! He was on the phone, and he whipped his head away. At first I was really embarrassed. Not only could he see everything I was doing, but my computer monitor was positioned in such a way that he HAD to see the porn that was playing. Oops. I ran to the bathroom and waited a few minutes. I crawled to the window and turned the thin wand that closes the blinds. Ya know, to make it look like they magically closed themselves. Then I realized he was shirtless, and it was lovely. I went back to work, all the while thinking of HBD.

I never did introduce myself or talk to him. I passed him on the sidewalk in front of our building once. He was holding hands with what must have been his girlfriend. I imagined him turning to her and saying, "holy shit, that dude. . ." and I had to laugh. I moved out two months after that.