Thursday, October 15, 2009

Lazy-Smized




Tyra Banks is still a wealthy, self-centered beast of a woman with a cartoon-like forehead that must house an enlarged brain whose only function is to maintain her status as an evil genius. That's basically my recap of her latest episode of ANTM taking into account the recent statistic published that this bitch made $30 million last year when the rest of us peons who are lucky to be employed are toiling away with more stress and less payoff than ever. The only other thing you need to know is that Nicole "Bloody Eyeball" Fox is amazing and will assassinate Tyra some day. Wouldn't that be fantastically ironic? Tyra trains this meek, awkward waif to smile with her eyes and sell herself to be a model, and she becomes everything Tyra was and more. Then perhaps the day Nicole's spin-off of the Tyra show is to premiere, they will meet in Nicole's dressing room so Tyra can wish her luck and remind her how she owns Nicole, body and soul. "No more," Nicole will whisper as the axe crunches into Tyra's massive forehead, splattering flecks of blood into her eyes, bringing her nickname to life.




Or something like that. Here's an observational interaction I had a little earlier:


Jackee: Omg kara was such a cunt to bloody eyeball! Revenge of BE!


Me: B.E. IS THE BEST. SHE WILL SMIZE ALL THEM OTHA HOEZ TO DEATH. SHE WILL MURDER A BITCH WITH HER FACE AND NOT EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT IT.