Sunday, May 9, 2010

Textual Intercourse

me: okay i'll just write what it said. the news blurb at the bottom of the IM screen: 1 Chinese baby born with syphilis every hour

Brady: lol

Brady: damn chinese people

Brady: oops

Brady: just to clarify

Brady: That was "Damn, Chinese people."

Brady: As in "God Damn it get some treatment and wear a condom dirty bitches."

Sweet Dreams


Damn I had a crazy dream during my nap. First I was Samantha from Sex and The City. I was still dating Smith, and he came home to our balcony where I was waiting. I was wearing some kind of sexy white lingerie and looked about 26, not the old hag she is now. Smith came out to the balcony of our luxury apartment where I was waiting. I think we were doing some sexy roleyplaying game. He pulled out a gun, and aimed it at me, saying "it was a mistake to come unarmed." I knew it was part of the game, but that he was secretly serious and was going to kill me to get my money. He didn't think I knew the gun was loaded, and I pulled a tiny gun out of somewhere. Seriously, I think I had it in my snatch. He cocked his gun, but the bullet that was in it flew out of his and into mine, which transformed into a large silver and gold handgun. I cocked mine and shot at him, and then everything happened in slow motion. The bullet popped out little fins like on a missile and zoomed toward Smith, but it missed him and hit a wall, leaving a giant hole. The next thing I knew, I was myself and watching something happening on my front lawn. It was a platypus in a Greenman suit (you know, from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia) dancing on his hind legs. All the while, during both dreams, the soundtrack was Ladytron's "Another Breakfast With You." fucking Bizarre.