|KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT|
Mia: I'm so fucking tired
Me: Diddle your clit. Solves all problems
Mia: Already did. BAM
Me: LOL. BAM. Is that what you say when you finish?
Mia: I ain't a talker
Me: Except when you're done.
Mia: I go WAHOOOO. lol omg if I ever did that I would die
Here's a little addendum from emails:
Mia: Go sleep in the waiting room surrounded by the girls getting aboboed.
Me: I'll be like DON'T MIND ME, I'MA JUST CURL UP ON THIS COUCH LIKE THE FETUS YOU BOUT TO HAVE SNATCHED OOT
Me: HAHA I'm going to love hearing you bitch about your periods now! OMG when you get knocked up eventually (by roofying Alex and stealing his seed [hahahaha gross terminology]) I want EVERY nasty detail. Down to the mucus plug and preggo farts.
Mia: ima just sneaksies a napsies.lol.
I'm going to tell you every gory detail. from inception to lochia. (look that shit up). Unfortch I'm totes gonna have to roofy Alex in order to get preggo. Yesterday I was all "what if you're infertile" and he's all "I could get u pregnant with one look" and I said "why aren't I pregnant then" and he said "Even the most powerful stare is blocked by birth control" and I said "what's your excuse for last month" and he was like "hrmph"
Me: Are you SURE you want to get pregnant? It destroys your insides and turns you into a disgusting monster (if you carry it to term). OMG there! Tell Alex he doesn't have to wrap it up, you can just get a bunch of abobos! Problem solved. You loved getting flooded with semen, and you love abortions! WIN-WIN.