Monday, February 22, 2010

Baby Jesus Smiles Upon Us


A few days ago I tweeted my love for Traci Lords and wondered if she had a Twitter account. A friend of mine who works for Twitter kindly replied today that she does indeed have an account. Let's get our shit together, folks, and everyone follow her. Traci Lords is a national fucking treasure and should be treated as such. If you don't have a Twitter account, start one just so you can follow her. You don't have to use it ever except to glance at her radiant visage every so often.

I first discovered her when I saw a movie in 1996 called Nowhere. It's trashy, funny and fantastic, and is one of my favorite movies to this day. She has a cameo as part of a trio of valley girls consisting of herself, Rose McGowan and (The Monster) Shannen Doherty. They get zapped to nothing by an alien lizard creature, by the way. The point is that she was striking, and I HAD to know who she was. Her story is a crazy one. By the time she was 18, she had allegedly starred in over 100 adult films. Only one of those was filmed when she was 18, making it the sole legal remnants of her young porn career (in the U.S. at least). She had been writing her own scripts and developed a production company, proving she wasn't just another pornographic actress.

She made the move to mainstream television and films, and has had a plethora of roles. She also tried to crack into the music business. I found that I still have three of her songs in my collection. It's dance or house or trance music, I don't fucking know the difference, and it's. . . well, not so great. But she gets an A for effort!

There's also some juicy controversy about how she may have allegedly tipped off the authorities herself in order to gain immunity to prosecution. I bought her autobiography when it came out a few years ago, and I heartily recommend it, even though it may be a big bag of bullshit. It doesn't matter, I will always have a special place in my cold, black heart for this ho, as should you.