My brother is out of town for school stuff and staying with a friend.
Charlie: Tell me what's Spamalot? give details
Me: all i know is it's a musical based on some monty python shit. supposed to be good
Charlie: Awesome. what movie is it based on? thx
Me: holy grail
Me: why? are you going to see it? faggot.
Charlie: maybe i prefer maricon or jota
Me: yeah whatever, donut puncher
Charlie: Gay hosts are the best
Me: u got a mint on your pillow or something?
Charlie: no everything is neat & pretty. even the lassie dog
Me: be on the lookout for roofies. you know those gays are sneaky
Charlie: Pssh i have a high tolerance from taking "forgetmenows"
Me: oh yeah i forgot about that summer you interned for boy george
Monday, January 19, 2009
Oops
I'm not crazy about the woman who delivers our newspaper. She always slams it into our sliding glass door. I ran into her walking a dog once, and I couldn't get away from her for ten minutes. When she threw the paper against the door today, my brother and I happened to be right next to it. I looked through the door to see her strolling away, so I scowled, made my hands into guns and pretended to shoot her repeatedly "pew pew pew!" Of course she had to turn around exactly when I did that. I spun away and proceeded to laugh.
Palm, Meet Forehead
Becaues I don't have enough reasons to be unhappy, I started watching Gossip Girl. I was flabbergasted when I saw the below video in an episode.
Do real choirs do this shit? Fergie's "Glamorous" a capella is. . . interesting? I would personally love to see a choir give the same treatment to Akinyele's "Put It In Your Mouth." I'm actually really digging this guy's version:
This is the kind of music I liked as a kid. I bought and memorized Lil' Kim's Hard Core when I was 13. Somehow I don't think there were too many 13-year-olds who know every word to songs like "Fuck You" and "Big Momma Thang." I loved how the first track led right into "Big Momma Thang." It's a skit of a guy at a porn theater who gets a small popcorn and an extra large butter. He then proceeds to jerk it to Kim's movie using the butter, and right after he yells "Work it, bitch!" the track starts. Priceless.
Do real choirs do this shit? Fergie's "Glamorous" a capella is. . . interesting? I would personally love to see a choir give the same treatment to Akinyele's "Put It In Your Mouth." I'm actually really digging this guy's version:
This is the kind of music I liked as a kid. I bought and memorized Lil' Kim's Hard Core when I was 13. Somehow I don't think there were too many 13-year-olds who know every word to songs like "Fuck You" and "Big Momma Thang." I loved how the first track led right into "Big Momma Thang." It's a skit of a guy at a porn theater who gets a small popcorn and an extra large butter. He then proceeds to jerk it to Kim's movie using the butter, and right after he yells "Work it, bitch!" the track starts. Priceless.
Parenting
Yesterday I was at a meeting I like to go to on Sundays and there are several people who regularly bring their kids. It's not technically against any rules to bring children, and they usually don't bother me. Yesterday was the exception. They sat right in front of me playing gameboy. Loudly. The kid playing had headphones in. This prevented annoying game noises, but it made the kid talk all the louder because he couldn't hear himself. His mom started off nicely asking him to keep it down when he would say something out loud. But this was happening every 45 seconds, so she got pissed quickly. She threatened to take away the gameboy if he didn't keep quiet, but he called her bluff. If you're going to threaten your kids, mean what you say and follow through. Don't tell them you'll beat them like mixed-race stepchildren unless you actually will. She just smacked his leg when he got loud, apparently not wanting him to cause even more of a scene if she took away the game. Then you have to be prepared to snatch that shit right out of his hands, pick his crying ass up when he starts wailing, and take the little fucker outside. If you're considering having children, ask yourself this: '"Am I prepared to carry out whatever threats I make, regardless of the public shame and embarrassment?"
There was one thing that could have saved the situation: whispering. I've found that some people just don't fucking know how to do it. I don't get it. Are they incapable of it? Were they not taught by their parents? My brother doesn't know how to whisper. I like to talk through movies, but when I see one with Charlie, I try not to whisper anything, because I know the response will be in full volume attracting ire from all around us.
Today's lesson: whup a kid's ass if he steps out of line and teach the bastard how to whisper.
There was one thing that could have saved the situation: whispering. I've found that some people just don't fucking know how to do it. I don't get it. Are they incapable of it? Were they not taught by their parents? My brother doesn't know how to whisper. I like to talk through movies, but when I see one with Charlie, I try not to whisper anything, because I know the response will be in full volume attracting ire from all around us.
Today's lesson: whup a kid's ass if he steps out of line and teach the bastard how to whisper.
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