Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Cheers, Pats




Cool! Just send Eddie and Patsy down there, and they'll drink the shit all up.


Lumley's Inventor Investment Helps Oil Devastated Coastline




Veteran British actress JOANNA LUMLEY is joining efforts to remedy the oil spill disaster in the Gulf of Mexico by providing officials with a special oil-attracting 'mattress' to mop up the mess.

The eco-activist began investing in the Frogmat, an invention by British creator Ken Frogbrook, 20 years ago after realising its potential to clean up oil.

The straw mattressing is rolled out around the polluted coastline to absorb oil, soaking up the slick and helping clean the water.

The Frogmat also helps slippery oil-covered wildlife pull themselves out of the water.

The Absolutely Fabulous star is proud the product she has backed for so many years is now being used by British Petroleum bosses to help clean-up the spill in the Gulf of Mexico, which has been ruled one of the worst environmental disasters in American history.

She tells U.K. TV host Graham Norton, "This is brilliant, we're talking about oil spills in the Gulf of Mexico, in Louisiana and Florida where they are just waiting for that oil to come through.

"This was invented by a man called Ken Frogbrook, I joined him maybe 15-20 years ago to support him. It's straw mattressing which rolls out and out like a magic carpet and drags oil towards it and then you roll it and it's like oil-soaked mattressing which can then be used for fuel.

"Now we are sending two machines out at the request of BP to spread this mattressing along the (coast) and not only does it help clean the water, it gives the wildlife something to step onto. You've probably seen the plastic ones, and the poor little things can't get on with their oily feet, but because this is made of straw, it means they can get out of the oil and the stuff biodegrades at the end of it if you don't pick it up."


A Sexy Soccer Guide





I haven't seen one moment of the world cup, but this guide to hot footballers is all I need. My top pick? Iker Casillas. Ay, papi.






(this one isn't my boo Iker, but I find the pose. . . inviting)

Bam! Bitch Went Down










I'm surprised I haven't seen pictures of Lady Gaga biting it before now. I'm sure she has though. All those "avant-garde" yikes she wears are dangerous as hell. She's going to break a hoof. OH that reminds me. Uh oh, this is kind of terrible. I don't think I've mentioned it before. I was on a date a couple months ago; and at the restaurant, I spied a table of sorostitutes. The cool thing was one of them had a prosthetic leg. I thought it was neat and immediately starting wondering aloud how she came to be in that situation. My final hypothesis was that she suffered a serious pump accident. She was drunk, running in knee-high hooker boots, and her heel got caught in a grate. Because the material was so restrictive and unforgiving, it just snapped off her whole lower leg. That's what I like to think went down.

We're Fucking Done Professionally





I'll kick this off with a quote from my favorite blogger, Gabe Delahaye (here, this is funny), because I have to acknowledge that I've been part of this epidemic: ". . .whatever my role may be in this: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I caused all that Ke$ha." I'm finished with Kesha. Kind of. I'll still enjoy a couple of her songs, but her image she works so hard to maintain is hurting my soul. Oh, yes KESHA. I refuse to contribute to the perpetuation of her terrible, terrible name with the symbol. She looks like she smells bad and is sticky. I happened to watch last night's episode of The City (don't judge me, I'm judging myself enough for it) and she had a brief cameo. If an appearance by a manufactured, contrived pop singer can be considered a cameo. Castmemeber Olivia made some delightfully snide comments on Kesha's style as "punk trash" and "garbage chic." I agree, minus the -chic part. In the three minutes of screen time she had, Kesha made all sorts of gross faces as she is wont to do. Also, her hair? The question mark is because I think it might have just been a possum nest. Do they nest? I have a feeling they might den. I'll have to check into that, but if possums nested, they would make something like Kesha's hair. Seriously, Britney Spears at her ratty, weavy worst is better than Kesha's head situation. Anyway, in that short time she TWICE said, "I love garbage bags," and mentioned that she wanted to wear a gown made of trash bags to the Grammy's, (I'm not really sure why she was allowed to even attend) but they wouldn't let her. The point is, these people had to "work" with her for an entire styling session and photo shoot, so just imagine how times she professed her love of garbage bags and let loose with other similarly grimy gems.






Now might be a good time to mention her atrocious SNL performance. Wow, was it ever lackluster. Teach a bitch how to dance, pop songstress manufacturers! Every moment was womp-womp sad trombone. She looked like a combination of a malfunctioning robot and the Trash Heap from The Fraggles. And we all know she can't sing to begin with, so please don't bother to try anything live. Get your moves tight, and for shit's sake, lipsynch. At least you could be enjoyable then. She really ruined it there. Well. . . and with her Jon Travolta face. I had to go there. Sorry, girl!