New Favorite

I saw an excellent movie this week: Otto; or, Up With Dead People.





Zombies and pornography? This is a match made in heaven. Bruce LaBruce has managed to combine two of my favorite things. Otto is a very attractive zombie trying to find his way in this crazy world. There's a great scene where two zombie dudes get it on, and one fucks the other's wounds! It's not just simulated sex. It was really one man's erect penis penetrating an imitation bite wound. Amazing! There's got to be a term for that. Does anyone know what it's called when one is really into fucking wounds?



Anyway Otto is very attractive, even in his undead state. I'd heard of the man who made the movie before I saw it, but I never knew much about him. Then I looked up other films by Mr. LaBruce. One includes a scene in which a man masturbates and ejaculates onto a copy of Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf. Awesome. Judging from the sex scenes in Otto, it is a man genuinely jerking off onto the book. Another of his movies has a "controversial amputee sex scene." YES!!! I'm in love. I immediately ordered the movies, and they arrived today. I'm really looking forward to watching them.

Fun For The Whole Family

Remember Bebe's Kids? About the poor guy taking his girlfriend's kids to a theme park? Yeah, I'd like to remake it. But instead of black people, I'd like to focus on tree people. No, not Ents. I'm taking about Dede's Kids! It will be about him and his rascally saplings, I mean children. They'll visit, I don't know, Busch Gardens or Knott's berry Farm. They'll get into all sorts of mischief, but in the end Dede will have to save them from a wood chipper and learn to appreciate them.

Keep It Up

Have you ever heard that being shat on by a bird is good luck? I have. It's one of those things people tell each other to make them feel better about something shitty. It's akin to noticing a lump in your breast and saying, "looks like it's going to be a fantastic harvest this year!"

Die, Yuppie Cunt

(i no ur mad jeluhz of my drawring skillz)

I highly recommend United States of Tara. It's about a woman with dissociative identity disorder. That's multiple personality disorder for you oldschoolers. When I was little I used to wish for something dramatic like that to happen to me. It's like the eye patch thing. If I had my way, I would be a one-eyed quadruple-amputee dyslexic schizophrenic tranny torso.