Saturday, January 10, 2009

I Can Has Anurekseeya?

I have all these fucked up pictures on my phone, so I figured I'd share them. Here's a pretty one of a woman who used to powerwalk by my old apartment all the time. She puts Lara Flynn Boyle to SHAME:
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I Hate Myself

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I've been making fun of Twilight for some time now even though I haven't read the book or seen the movie. I've just read a lot of material about how poorly the books are written and how much the movie sucks. I decided I needed to get some firsthand dirt on it, so I started to read the first book. I'm only a few chapters into it, but so far I'm a little disappointed because it's not quite as bad as I thought it would be. I just don't want to end up enjoying it. I want so badly to hate it, and so far I hate the characters and the style, but I'm sure there's more suckiness to come. I made sure to download free copies of the books because I don't want to add to the author's sales. I read that 10% of the money goes to the Mormon church. I've met plenty of cool Mormons with whom I got along great and didn't think I was going to hell or anything, but in light of the whole Prop 8 debacle, I would feel like a major hypocrite knowlingly giving them support. So here I go on my self-loathing adventure in the land of sparkly vampires and umsympathetic heroines.
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Jizzsicles

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Fun fact: freezing semen requires a vessel capable of reaching -200 degrees centigrade. I heard this on TV, so I know it's true. TV would never lie to me. It made me think of a post by the funny bastards over at 2friends1blog:
http://2friends1blog.blogspot.com/2008/10/jizz-quiz.html
Trying to create homemade jizz pops would really result in more of a cum custard. But maybe that's your kind of thing. Sprinkle some sugar on top and blowtorch the shit: Cum Brûlée!