Monday, February 2, 2009

While You Were Douching. . .

Christian Bale proved he's an asshole:
http://www.aolcdn.com/tmz_audio/020209_christianbale.mp3

Black History Fail



The first thing I said to Shawnda at work this morning was, "happy black history month!" This prompted our other coworker, I'll call her Linda for now, to joke, "you have to teach us something about black history every day this month." To this Shawnda replied, "okay. . . the republicans just elected a black man to represent them."
*sigh*
Not good enough, Shawnda. Not good enough.

BTDubs Michael Steele sounds like a crazy dick.

Oh, and Rush Limbaugh played this song on his show:


To Snatch a Pedophile



Today I was thinking about Mary Kay Fualaau (Letourneau) and her now-husband Vili. They started boning when he was 13 and she was 34. Ew. They're married and spewed out two crotchfruit. They seem to be happy, but that is ass-nasty getting together when he was 13. You know she's cheating on him when she takes the kids on playdates. Getting it on by the jungle gym in her gutterbutt style. Think about it. She's clearly attracted to young boys. It's not like she could have been drawn to his personality. Thirteen-year-olds are assholes. I'm sure he only cared about his Playstation and desperately willed himself to grow that "mustache." To a young boy, it's a conquest to a) have sex at all, b) do it with someone so much older, and c) do it with a teacher. I'm sure he was proud of himself. But then from her perspective, it's abuse and taking advantage of a child. I just don't get her motivation--adolescents are so bad in bed.

I Know Who Killed My Livelihood


(That's what you get for spinning your bean, sinner.)


Looks like LiLo will be heading back to rehab soon. Here's a blind item from BlindGossip.com:


"Which actress is about to become the target of a family intervention? This one is a mess. Almost everyone around her agrees that she is out of control with the drinking and drugging and self-harming and needs to go to rehab. What’s holding her up? Her terminal insecurity about her current volatile relationship. She is so completely co-dependent that her Significant Other can’t even go to work without the actress tagging along. However, lest you blame our actress, you should know that the SO clearly understands that their own financest are dependent on continuing the relationship. Little does the SO know, though, that the actress’s family is planning an intervention to cut out the SO and force the actress into rehab. The family has had several conversations with the family of a famous poptart to work through the financial and legal and practical details of how to obtain a conservatorship. Everything will go down before summer."


It's rather obvious it's the carrot slut. I would LOVE to see this bitch under Dina's thumb like Britney and her dad. And not because it would be good for her, but because it would set the stage for an EPIC meltdown. I'm sensing blood, lots of drugs/alcohol, and an OJ-esque car chase. Oh, and throw some cock in there, because you know she's been craving it. It'll be like her own version of Teeth but bigger, gorier, and insatiable. I mean, she is known for enveloping bar stools she sits on. And didn't she used to have brothers? Mystery solved. NEXT.