Saturday, January 31, 2009

Teens and Their Bracelets Don't Have SHIT on Oldschool Queers



My brother is student teaching at a local high school. He said there was an announcement this week that the moratorium on scarves being worn in the school had been lifted. Students staged a protest of the scarf ban. They were banned because gangmembers were wearing them in their back pockets to show affiliation. Homo say what? What kind of faggoty gangs were these? The Sharks and Jets? (There's a Westside Story reference for those not in the know.) Do they have dance battles in which people "get served." Is this New York City circa 1970? You know who else uses hankies to identify "interests?" Homosexuals.

Let me try to decipher the guy in the above photo:
  • sucks dick
  • into getting peed on
  • likes it in the ass
  • likes fisting dudes
  • dominates guys SM style
  • likes to jerk off
  • depending on the color interpretation, either likes boning men with dildoes or is into drag queens

Brace Yourself, Whore, You're About to Get a Stunning

Set Phazers To Bukkake



My G-Ma is quite a character. Here's a tidbit: to this day she laments that the FDA pulled the strong diet pills (read: SPEED) of her day off the market. "I could take half a pill and clean the entire house in an hour." Last night she was telling me how she and a friend used to watch Star Trek when she was in her 20s. She told me her friend used to always say, "that William Shatner, he can put his shoes under my bed any day." If you think about it, that's pretty scandalous. It's inflation. Gas used to cost five cents per gallon, and ribaldry has also had to step up its game. That's like a modern, innocent girl saying, "that Zac Effron, I'd let him stick it anywhere and post it on X Tube." But look at young Shatner! He was kind of a hot piece. Now he has kind of a hair piece. And a girdle. I wonder what will be considered the new dirty in 50 years.

Please Crumble, Cookie


Amber M. from the Bad Girls Club was on Tyra Banks' talk show some time recently. She explained what made her a bad girl, and apparently it's abusing people with disabilities. She claimed that she was at a bar and out of nowhere, a "wheelchair guy" rolled into her and spilled an entire drink on her intentionally. This unforgivable infraction warranted her stomping on his balls. "I don't discriminate. If a real guy just did that, I would kick him in the balls too." Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? Somebody needs to drop a house on this cunt.