Sunday, March 27, 2011

Get Ready for a Fabulous Podcast

My friend Travis and I recorded the first episode of our podcast tonight.  It's going to be hilarious and chocked full of gayness.  If you like queef, shitty sex, and golden shower stories, this will be the show for you.  I will of course notify you the moment it is available for download, but here's a little teaser for you (please note that the triangle is to be reminiscent of the symbol homosexuals would get in concentration camps).

Those Japanese Sure Know How to Do Suspense

Ahhhhhh!  I've been watching Asian horror films recently, and this 1:30 video about a tinkered child's game had me biting my nails.  Thanks, Travis:

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Textual Intercourse

I whip my head back and forth

Here's a little excerpt from a conversation between me and my soul sister Jewess Mia:

Mia:  my cat is being annoying

Me: give it some peanut butter and a water spritz in the FACE

Mia:  lol he would bitch slap me back

Me:  slap that pussy

Mia:  he is more annoying than a child. 

Me: too bad shaking a cat only makes it angry

. . .

Me: I like my babies shaken, not stirred

Mia: lol what's that from?

Me:  ME

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Judgment Withheld

I can't decide if I hate this or love it. Or love it because it's awful. These girls can sing, but is it a misuse of talent? Or a feminist expression? I'm just going to stop trying to decide and enjoy it.

Can't Wait!

Sunday Morning Scare

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Oh No S/He Didn't!

Keep watching, keep watching, wait for it, waaaaait fooooooor it.  BAM.


It took me way too long to do research and remember what this song was.  It makes me happpppyyyyyy.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Help Fund the Gay Pimp Project!

Kickstarter is a fantastic site used to reach the commoners in order to fund independent projects.  Girls Will Be Girls funded their sequel (due out in November, shooting just wrapped!) this way.  I've been a die hard Jonny McGovern fan for many years now, and for all the free shit he's given us, it's absolutely worth a few coins to help fund his next four videos.  If you aren't familiar, check out the Gay Pimp website. The Gay Pimpin' with Jonny McGovern  podcast has brought innumerable hours of enjoyment to my life.  Every bit helps!  You pledge money, and if they reach their goal by the deadline (April 12, ,2011) you pay.  Otherwise, you get your money back.  But the goal is to make that donut money, honey.  I made a generous donation thanks to a nice tax break, but even a few dollars would be worth it if we all pitch in.  There are of course prizes for different levels of donations, so go to the Jonny McGovern Kickstarter page and check it out.  I am dying for a Chocolate Puddin' outgoing voicemail message in addition to the rest of the perks in my package.  I know you want to see more nude, sexy gentlemen and videos for great and hilarious songs that will entertain us for the rest of our lives.  Do your part :)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

She's A Bitch

No, not the Missy Elliott song.  This is my new obsession.  Killola is rocking my world, and this song is HOT.  She kind of sounds like Peaches and the lyrics are killing it.  There's no real video, but this bitch is plenty for me.  She is serving executive realNESS.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Textual Intercourse

sniz:  ur probs a serial killer

me:  in that case you'd be a hot trophy

Friday, March 4, 2011

Let's Make It Happen

amen, sister

If you don't read my tweets, I coined the word "abominortion." I submitted it to Urban Dictionary, but those assholes have rejected my last two submissions. Although I did get angelmaker approved once upon a time. Here you have my definition:

A portmanteau of abomination and abortion. That which is offensive and should never have existed in the first place.

Totally useful, right? I'm going to need your help in literally spreading the word. Use it every appropriate chance you get.  Anyway, you heard it from me first.  So when it blows up, you know where it came from. 

Sir Charlie Sheen

snatched from

He was knighted, right?  This motherfucker has been so entertaining in a very sad way.  He's the new Lindsay Lohan, but at least you can tell she's a liar and knows deep down she's fucked up.  This man is "WINNING!"  And I'm already so damn sick of hearing people say "winning."  Two and Half Men is the worst; and he seems to be a fucking hurricane of shit, destroying everything he touches.  He truly is an abominortion.  Can we just go back in time and abort Charlie Sheen?

Anyway, here is a fun mashup of New Yorker cartoons and the ramblings of a chemically imbalanced celebrity with too much money for his own good:

Charlie Sheen Quotes As New Yorker Cartoons

My Next Drag Name

I'm mentioned before that I'm always on the lookout for drag personas.  I have a good one.  My name will be Ruth Lesscunt.  Get it?  It works on two levels; I'm so clever!  Eyeroll.  Anyway, I would of course base my look on Ruth Gordon's Minnie character from Rosemary's Baby.  All terrible, poorly applied makeup, housefrocks, and huge hair curlers.

Best Joke Ever

Aside from most Helen Keller jokes that is.  I modified this from statement form in a tweet by @RMGingerNinja:

What did the Jewish pedophile say to the child?
-"Hey little kid, wanna BUY some candy?"

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Yep, That's About Right

Queen Latifah is a ravenous beast that devours fish.

RISE UP, for We Have a New Anthem

I liked "I Whip My Hair."  Well. . . some of it.  What I really liked was the Nicki Minaj Remix.  It only includes Willow's fun parts.  Check that out first:

Okay, now onto The Littlest Scientologist's new song. I love it! It's so catchy and fun. It puts some pep in my step when I listen to it on the way to work. It makes me forget that she's being brainwashed by a cult. I love the part about pulling gold out of her soul and diamonds from her heart. Every time I hear it, I add in my head something along the lines of "and pull oil from my weave." In my opinion, this should have been Lady Gaga's new song instead of her "Born This Way" abominortion (that's obviously a portmanteau of abomination and abortion). It makes me happy and the message can be coopted by queers without being too obvious or pandering. Let's do it!  Here is the song, "21st Centruy Girl"

The Amazing Suckling Snake

Got yo titty, bitch!

See, this is what I'm terrified would happen to me.  One time I flung my friend Sunshine's snake away from me because it opened its mouth in face as I was holding it.  Homie don't play that.  I am not Jon Voight, and this is not Anaconda.  Actually, this IS Anaconda, and I am Jennifer Lopez, kicking some snake ass.