Oops, I Did It Again

I KNOW YOU'RE HOME, ASSHOLE!

The leases at my apartment building are for one year, and this is going to be a rough one.  I was on the phone with my brother when I heard a knock at my door.  I was expecting my dinner delivery, so I opened up without even looking through the peephole.  Imagine my surprise when it's not the cute delivery boy but Shonda, my crazy downstairs lesbian neighbor.  I held up a finger and said, "hold on just a minute."  Then I ran into the other room and crazily whispered to my brother the situation.  I thought maybe if I waited long enough, she'd just go away.  He asked if my door was locked.  FUCK, it wasn't.  "Can I lock it super quietly?" I asked my brother.  "NO!  She'll know."  He said to tell her this will be a while, indicating she should go the fuck away.  I did that, but she just whispered, "do you have a egg?"  Not AN egg, A egg.  "Oh sure," I replied and ran to the fridge.  I handed her one egg, and then for some reason asked "do you need just one?"  She eyed my carton and said, "maybe two."  So I gave the bitch TWO eggs.  Then she whispered, "I'll come up and see you later if that's okay."  I'm too much of a pussy to stand up and throw shade to a bitch's face, so I said, "oh yeah, whenever."  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.  I need to abort this relationship.  I am not trying to see this dyke.  This is going to be a long year.

Can't Wait!

And the Children Went UP!

This is jaw-dropping.  First of all, this bitch Leigh Bowery is working some nerves.  That scary serial killer face with the patchwork hippy clown ensemble is insane.  HER FACE.  Good lord, her face.  And then it happens.  It goes from uncomfortable performance to performance ART.  You'll know when you see it. 



I finally watched the drag classic, Wigstock.  It's fun and the shows are great, but it was so short!  At only one hour and fifteen minutes, this documentary needed to be doubled.  My other big problem is that so few of the dragsters are featured.  Where's my Varla?  And where the fuck is Lahoma van Zandt?!?  You can also spook a pre-op Candis Cayne as one of the Wigstock Dancers, and giiiiiirl, she was rough.  She's pretty now, but damn she has had some good work done.  Her barbecue was canceled fa sho (on account of a FUCKED UP GRILL).  Much love though.  It's fun to see the different stages of transformation.  And there's RuPaul with her fantastically cinched waist and youthful face (this was 1993 after all).  One last thing:  God bless Lady Bunny's corset.

Living Nightmares

Well, I know what will be haunting my dreams tonight:

Gagging For Your Nerves

I can't even describe the awesomeness of this video. I can only say that this bitch knows how to turn it out and how to motherfucking LAYER. Make sure to watch the whole thing with nothing distracting you. Eat. It. Up. With. A. Spoon.