And the Children Went UP!

This is jaw-dropping.  First of all, this bitch Leigh Bowery is working some nerves.  That scary serial killer face with the patchwork hippy clown ensemble is insane.  HER FACE.  Good lord, her face.  And then it happens.  It goes from uncomfortable performance to performance ART.  You'll know when you see it. 



I finally watched the drag classic, Wigstock.  It's fun and the shows are great, but it was so short!  At only one hour and fifteen minutes, this documentary needed to be doubled.  My other big problem is that so few of the dragsters are featured.  Where's my Varla?  And where the fuck is Lahoma van Zandt?!?  You can also spook a pre-op Candis Cayne as one of the Wigstock Dancers, and giiiiiirl, she was rough.  She's pretty now, but damn she has had some good work done.  Her barbecue was canceled fa sho (on account of a FUCKED UP GRILL).  Much love though.  It's fun to see the different stages of transformation.  And there's RuPaul with her fantastically cinched waist and youthful face (this was 1993 after all).  One last thing:  God bless Lady Bunny's corset.

Tranny Baby Alert

Babies shouldn't have DSL.

I don't know what's happening here, but I approve.  The headline might as well read "baby's first time up in drags walking a ball."  She will definitely snatch a trophy.  She's got some fierce Kate Gosselin (whoa, what happened to her?  Totally forgot until I saw this coiffure) hair, and she is WORKING the cholita eyebrows.

How Rude

I hadn't seen a contraption like this before that bastard just plopped down on the bleachers right in front of people. How motherfucking rude. It's one thing to bring a baby to an event (I don't think kids should be allowed outside home/school until they can be trusted not to throw fits) but to do so in such a way that literally sticks the little jackass in people's faces is ridiculous.

Crotchfruit

I ran into an old friend today. By "old" I don't mean aged and rickety, just that I've known her for a while. Actually she could totally use some botox and a little plumping, but the point is that she told me she was "expecting." Expecting what? I had no idea what she was talking about. Maybe it's because she's always been a lil' thick and had cankles, so I couldn't tell she was four months pregnant. After an awkward pause and a realization on my part, I tried to figure out what to say. "Um, congrats on accomplishing what thousands of unwed teenage badgirls do every year?" Or maybe, "Ooooh, I'm sorry. Will you be going to a doctor to take care of it or the good old-fashioned method of throwing yourself down the stairs? I myself am a traditionalist." Then she felt the need to tell me that it happened on their first try. Thanks. I really needed to know that, Fertile Myrtle. I said, "you know what that makes me think of? Your vagina. You know what I hate thinking about. . . your. . . vagina." I think I ruined her day. Anyway, she's expecting twatvomit in May. I'm expecting her to scream, cry, and shit the bed.