I'm just going to point out some highlights from the premiere of this trashfest.
Buckwild was never exactly pretty, but with her new eyebrows, she straight up looks like a hag. One of her first quotes of the show is this: "I'm willing to go as far as it takes to win the money. I mean, I stuck my tongue down Flavor Flav's mouth. I will do what I need to do." Clearly nothing she could possibly do on this show could debase her more than what she's already done. Making out with Gollum was heinous, and she didn't even win the precious! Becky explained that she really needs the money in order to pay back her mother who paid for all her lawyer fees. Why did she need a lawyer? I'm glad you asked. She said she really needs income because she was recently doing work release. All I know is that has something to do with jail. She claims she was charged with assault with a deadly weapon and malicious destruction of city plants. *facepalm*
Maybe she ripped up a city plant and choked a bitch with it!
Good old m'lady (not as in "my lady" but MANNISH lady) Frenchy is back. Angelique kind of makes the show. Her grotesque tranny manface looks even more disfigured than ever. Oh and she refers to herself as classy. Lies.
This episode also marks the triumphant return of the Hamburglar! Milf is back and as ground beef-faced as ever.
At the beginning, the F-listers disembark from boats onto shore and have to take their luggage with them. Scrawny-ass Bonez's (creepy "clean" comedian from I Love New York) suitcase pops open and he said that he noticed his hair gel and mousse floating in the water. What? His hair is maybe three millimeters long at MOST. Just how unruly can it get?
There was a Flavor of Love 3? I was not aware. Apparently there was because there are a few skanks from that particular program. Prior to hopping out of the boat into treachorous, ankle-deep water, she made sure to wrap her hair in a garbage bag. And by "her hair," I mean the synthetic material she purchased and had sewn/glued/braided to her naturally-grown tufts. "I'ma do anything for da money. I'll eat sand, drink ocean water. But I cannot--ya'll already know--I would not get this weave wet." Bitch if you win, just think how much weave you could buy! You could have a nice lacefront wig for every day of the month! Real human hair mixed in with yo shit! Imagine it. . . you could have Oprah hair! Isn't it worth getting your tore up weave a little wet?
The first challenge is digging through a pool of mud to find "gold" coins. Buckwild said this of Myammee: "she came prepared this time. She got some weave coverage insurance. She ready to get some money."
Several of the girls went swimming topless within the first twenty minutes. Angelique and Leilene were of course involved.
BW and my girl Saaphyri were chatting about alliances on their beds when that whiny trick Leilene entered and asked what they were doing. Saaphyri responded, "sittin' here talkin' about yo ass and yo nipples out in the damn pool, actin' like you never been to Charm School." Bless her.
During Leilene's turn in the challenge, It from ILNY commented that "Leilene goes and she don't get no coins cuz I think she was worrying about who she was gonna have sex with in the house. Like if it was dildoes in there or, like, condoms in there, then i think she would probably win, know what I'm sayin'?" It took a while to understand since your speech is all kinds of special, but yes, I know what you're saying.
Who the fuck is 20 Pack? I find it hard to believe I don't recognize him because he is HOT. And when he opens his mouth to speak, he doesn't sound like a complete douche. Points for him. The pictures of him here make him look a little tooly, but I'm okay with that.
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