This week on the Real Housewives of New York City we learned that there's a new cunt on the block, and her name is Kelly Bensimon. She complained about the previous episode's altercation with Bethenny to Ramona: "That would be like me being jealous of you. Why would I be jealous of you?" Good question, Kelly. Good, cunty question. Yes, a real cunt is effortlessly true to her nature. Kelly managed to redundantly berate Bethenny for being childish, immature, and sophomoric. All the while, Kelly herself was pouty, condescending, and rude. I'm guilty of all those acts, but at least I admit it. A spade is a spade, and a redfaced bitch is a redfaced bitch.
The only other noteworthy happening in the episode is the revelation that Luann should have been a Duchess. Her literary agent reminded her of this, and she acted as if she didn't really want to tell the story because it was so embarassing, but since he brought it up, well, okay I'll tell it. One of her husband's ancestors already had the Count title, but he turned down the offer of being a Duke. It wouldn't really have changed much. She'd still act like a righteous, entitled bitch, only instead of calling her the Cuntess, we'd be calling her the Douchess. Apparently her crypt keeper husband is rolling her out of his mausoleum and moving on to younger, trashier mistresses. After the divorce, does she get to keep the title of Cuntess? I don't know how that shit works since the closest thing we have to royalty is Oprah and Brangelina. People actually say that. Sometimes I am so ashamed to be American.
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