Brace yourselves, this one is fiercely vulgar.
It happened around 10 years ago when I was a sophomore in high school. I was absent one day we had a math test, so I had to make it up the following Monday. My teacher put me in the math hallway's spare room, where I could take the test in private while they went over the answers in the classroom. The room was large and used for storage of books, extra desks, and as a coffee break room for all the math teachers.
I zipped through the exam quickly, and I didn't want to return to class. But there was still nothing else to do where I was. Being the randy teenager I was, it seemed like a fair idea to masturbate. That's normal, right? I was going at it, and right before I'm going to finish, it occurs to me that I had nothing with which to clean up.
I looked around; and I guess I could have shot into a textbook (wouldn't that be a nasty surprise?), but I was in a hurry, and they were too far away. But the coffee maker was within reach. And it had a full pot. So it was decided. It was fucked up and wrong, and if I could go back, I wouldn't have done it. But it does kind of make for a funny story.
It sank by the way.
