Michael Jackson Decoded

So that's what it's all about.

Say What?

Kelly Bensimon named a drink after herself which contains lemonade, beer, and tequila. Cuntess Luann asked "is that like the Mexican version of a margarita?" Andy Cohen smirked and (at least according to Bravo's editing) looked toward Bethenny as if to ask, "is this bitch for real?"

Kids These Days

I've just discovered the hot summer jam of 2010. . . and it's from 2009. I was listening to an old podcast and heard Mariah Carey's "Obsessed." I can't stop listening to it! Look, I know I'm behind on what's happening with music in general, but give me a break. 2009 was basically a write-off for me, seeing as I was out of commission for a chunk of it. I can't be held responsible for what was happening in the outside world when I was learning to walk again. Anyway, here is the video for it, and I have a couple comments. 1) Mariah is looking GREAT. Oh so good. 2) At first I thought she was kind of cute as a guy, but then I snatched it back when I realized she looks exactly like Wilmer Valderrama.

My Pumps

At work last week I noticed a coworker was taller than usual and complimented her shoes. This prompted someone else to comment that they must have been five-inch heels. I squinted and appraised them for about .25 seconds and said, "three and a half." The other girl busted out a tape measure, and lo and behold, they were 3.5-inch heels. Don't play play on the bang bang.

C-Bombs Away!

What is the world coming to when a 13-year-old girl drops the c-bomb twice on a morning show? I'll tell you what, it's either the Apocalypse or heaven on earth. I'm leaning toward the latter.

Comic Book Queers

Friends of someone I know produce a great podcast called Comic Book Queers (http://www.comicbookqueers.com/). Well, to be honest I've only listened to a couple, but they are FANTASTIC. Check out episodes 97 and 113 to begin with. The first is a girl talk session featuring Dazzler, Storm, and Emma Frost. They are some nasty fuckin' bitches. Even if you have only paltry knowledge of the X-Men, you'll laugh your ass off. Dazzler likes "long walks on the beach and racial purity" and shoots laser diamonds out of her pussy. Emma Frost just shoots plain diamonds out of her pussy: "my period while in diamond form looks like crystal pepsi." Storm, well she is a fine mess: "because dick'll make you slap somebody, okay?"

The second one is Larry King interviewing Dazzler. Damn. It's great, she mentions that she had a "planned miscarriage." She "decided to get a miscarriage." Finding abortion jokes hilarious is an important part of being my friend I realized recently.

UPDATE: Get episode 106 too! It's the three favorite hobags again.

An Honor

I got a notification today that The Queens of Drag are now following me on Twitter. Yay! www.twitter.com/thequeensofdrag and http://www.thequeensofdrag.com/ are interesting. I guess there's some tv show starring them? I've never heard of it, or maybe it's yet to be aired. I love how the bio says "like the housewives show, but better wigs!" So true, so true. I have a few comments though. I live for Kevin Aviance. And to a lesser extent, I live for Lady Bunny and Peppermint Gummibear. Now: Hedda Lettuce. OOOoooh, girl. I respect what you do, and you've been doing it for a minute, but you need to work on your looks. TIRED. Now all they need is some Tammie Brown.

Quality

It's a tranny day here at Fat Camp. Let me just say, Britney Houston is fucking gorgeous and unspookable. Enjoy:

Oh Betty

A friend of mine is hilarious and a talented artist. Check out a new webcomic every Wednesday at http://www.butyourelikereallypretty.com/. Here's a sample of his work:

Textual Intercourse

Brady: do you think brown underwear would go with my skin tone?

me: that might be the gayest thing you've ever said

me: but yes.