Yes, VH1 has yet another "reality" show. It's like Charm School for douchebags. Bad boyfriends think they're on a show called Mr. Awesome, but later find out they're on it because they're assholes. One eliminated per week, blah blah blah. Their girlfriends are there with them to work on honesty, fidelity, you know, that boring stuff. Here's a quick rundown of the tools:
Ryan "Matsuflex"- naked tool- I think he's a stripper or something, because he keeps talking about (and showing) his "man panties." He braggs about how he can pick up dollar bills from the ground with his buttcheeks. Is that on anyone's list of qualities that he/she's looking for in a guy? He has a terrible tribal tattoo on one shoulder/arm. Despite his exhibitionism and narcissistic personality disorder, there's something really attractive about him. He and his chick win the bed challenge, but not before he strips to his manties for the home stretch.
Mega-playa pimpin' tool- Says his name stands for "makes every girl aroused." Busted. His girlfriend says about him "Mega, please." Use your imagination with that one.
Josh-tiny tool-little ghetto wannab dude. Has big trashy girlfriend. His number one priority is bowling, and in the catwalk challenge, he brings a bolwing ball on the runway with him. He said in an interview that he has to put his foot down with his gf, and she was like "you have to put your foot down?!" Clearly she's the one putting her oversized foot down and up his little ass.
Clarence-"Celebrity"-party tool. boring.
Tommy-slacker tool-unemployed and lives off gf's child support money. Nice! This guy is one quality gentleman. He says he's as good at hoops as he is in bed. Then when he dribbles a basketball on the runway, he hits a random chickenhead in the chickenface. In the later challenge where the guys give the girls instructions on how to assemble a bedframe, Tommy flips his shit, yells at his girl, and throws everything in sight. "She was trying to demasculate me, and you're not gonna show me up. I'm gonna break something, and I'm gonna pick this heavy fuckin chair up, and I'm gonna throw it, and you're gonna like it too." Marry me.
Shawn-loud-mouth tool- he has this fucked up emo-inspired bullshit haircut that just hurts to look at. Even though he has it, there's something that draws me to him, and I despise myself for it.
Joey - cold-hearted tool- boring, mean. He says he has his girlfriend "trained" to do the dishes, laundry, and clean the entire apartment.
Robert - power tool - he looks old and ugly. Too bulky. Blah.
Dimitri - greek tool - typical asshole. He gets the boot at the end of the episode and the girlfriend decides to stay with him. Dumb skank.
What really disappoints me with this show is the line the host gives at elimination: "I'm sorry, but you're just a tool." Not only is it unclever, but it's offensive to real tools. At least real tools serve a purpose.
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