I ordered lots of my favorite underwear online last week, and it has arrived. I once accidentally bought XS, and the results were like a scene in a Judd Apatow movie. Medium feels too loose on the waistband, but small is just right. Almost. The problem is they need to be broken in a little. Here's the issue: the first few times I wear them, the crotch doesn't quite contain my balls. So until they stretch properly, I show sidesac. Or as my old teammates use to say, "hairy gum." It happens a lot with tight little speedos. As you might have learned from life experience or the movie Waiting, guys love tricking other dudes into looking at their genitals. Is it supposed to be some kind of punishment? Like you're gay if you notice it? I'd see it and respond with "lookin' good." I just went to get a glass of water, and guess what? SIDESAC. It happens. There's a bumper sticker for you. I've drawn a diagram to help you properly picture it. I did take a picture of the real thing just now, but even I have my limits.
Here's a story about my testicles. I couple summers ago I went to the beach with a few friends, and I wore a suit that kind of looked like short boxer briefs made of Lycra. Those fuckers, like Amy Winehouse, could not handle the junk. It seemed like ballsac was showing at all times. To make light of the situation, I posed for a lovely cellphone picture. I sat cross-legged and completely pulled a nut out of each side of the suit. This was some Chinese ball contortion. I snapped a crotch shot and sent it to all my friends. I chose ocean noises with seagulls and captioned it "just the two of us."
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