The Faggot with the Dragon Tattoo

Wow, I can't believe I haven't thought to share this until now. Last month, I received a message on my IM program from someone I didn't recognize. I guess he didn't remember me at first either and wanted to know who I was. After a few minutes I realized who it was. He is a certain member of the local homosexual community, and to (somewhat lightly) veil his identity, I shall aptly refer to him as the Faggot with the Dragon Tattoo. I won't mention the particular conspicuous location of the ink.

We chatted months ago, and it never went anywhere. Since one of my favorite pastimes is to delete contacts and even unfriend people from Facebook, he didn't make the cut in the last round apparently. This time we talked a little bit, and he seemed nice enough. He sent me a friend request on Facebook, but I declined. This is why:

I searched for his screen name on Google, and it brought me to a profile page on a very peculiar website. At first I thought it was for furries, and I suppose I could have dealt with that. A little odd, but whatever. I enjoy yaoi, and that's probably soemthing a lot of guys aren't into. Upon closer inspection, I realized the website for which he had a profile was NOT what I thought it was. Firstly, he had posted several nude pictures of himself (I was not impressed). I quickly ascertained that it was not in fact a harmless website for people of the Furry persuasion, but people into bestiality. After clicking on the homepage, I noticed that the description was "the world's largest bestiality board." Oy. I thought for a moment, maybe it wasn't him, or maybe it was some bitter ex playing a mean prank. But no, all his interactions and comments to other members combined with his personal information confirmed that it was indeed him. His profile had a line in it with something like "sadly, I do not have experience with animals, but it's not for lack of enthusiasm." Wow. So I have not talked to him since, and I will not be communicating with dogfucker anymore. Or maybe he's a dogfuckee? I have a friend who seems to think it's gross but still more acceptable to let an animal fuck you than to fuck the animal. The line of thought is that it's sort of consentual that way, rather than outright raping an animal. I don't give a shit, I don't need to associate with someone who if given the chance would get his freak on with animals. What does it mean to havve enthusiasm for that anyway? Does that mean he's tried? Anyway, if you live in Central Illinois and see a homo with a dragon tattoo, he's climbing in yo windows, he's snatchin' yo doggies up, tryna rape 'em, so ya'll need to hide your labs, hide your mutts.