I had a My Little Pony when I was a little boy. I remember buying it. My dad suggested a GI Joe, but I insisted on the pony. It was yellow with pink hair, and I used to play with it in the bath. It didn't have wings, which disappointed me a little, but hey, I got one. Bless him that he let me get it. But that little mutherfucker sure did disappear under mysterious circumstances. I didn't realize for many years that my parents must have thrown it away. Yeah, because that would keep me from being a homo. Several other childhood artifacts vanished similarly. I had a Mousercising vinyl album. I used to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to Mousercise along with Mickey Mouse and those other twats on the Disney Channel. When it wasn't on, I had my album as backup. Is it so wrong to be into fitness?!? They might as well have shot me up with the beetus right then and there.
There were some things I really desired but kept them secret. Of course I wanted an EZ Bake oven, but I guess that was too much even for me--the kid who jumped rope with the black girls at recess. A bedazzler would have made my gay little life complete! I would have bedazzled the shit out of everything I owned. I'd have been the only kid at swim practice with sequined and rhinestoned speedos!
And for good measure:
This is my new favorite post. :)
ReplyDeleteI love how they make you type in a weird word before you can comment... like, I just had to type in "vagetart". Doesn't that sound like some sort of vagina-flavored candy? Yum.
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