Just a day after that ship captain was rescued from Somalian pirates, four more ships have been attacked by pirates. The pirates have gone wild. This is a sentence that people say, and other people comprehend it. What the what? Apparently these pirates keep a bunch of hostages on their mothership, you know, as insurance that no one will just blow it up. It's really not a bad idea. That's what I do. I always make sure to have an excess stock of hostages. I get them at Costco.
I think the solution is clear. Naturally the U.S. needs to take credit for everything, but since we're already in two wars and Pakistan and North Korea are dicey, I think it's time for some good old fashioned OUTSOURCING! Yes, if our government knows what it's doing (shh, let me finish), then we've already hired the pirates only natural enemies: ninjas.
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