It takes a lot to get there, but I'm losing the ability to joyfully wallow in Lindsay Lohan's pain. She's gone beyond crazy-but-still-slightly-humorous-train-wreck and pulled into Sad Town. She just appeared in a Funny or Die video, satiring herself in an eHarmony ad. I guess this could be funny if it hadn't already been done 123,588,600,493 times. It actually serves to make her seem crazier. I'm having trouble putting my finger in it, but it's disturbing! This bitch has crazy in the eyes. And she presents all the "gossip" as if it's just that, and not documented psycho events of her life. Here's how I see it going down:
A) She really makes an effort to get her shit together. Maybe she can go to rehab AGAIN but take it seriously this time and try to learn what she can do about why she's so fucked up (execute her parents perhaps?)
OR
B) Die.
This bitch has clearly been slowly been trying to kill herself for years now, so it's just going to happen if she doesn't do something. And she's not going to be remembered fondly like James Dean. Or even River Phoenix, who DID die of a drug overdose, but people only seem to remember the good parts. If her little firecrotch flame gets extinguished, I'll just think she brought on herself. She's been offered so much help and had so many chances, but she still won't even take responsibility for herself. No one is going to lament her wasted talent, because she didn't have any to begin with. Hopefully she's either be sober or dead within six months. Anyone want to take bets?
Omg, I read on like 12398012938 blogs how totally funny and great this video was, and then I finally watched it (maybe secretly hoping for a comeback for her? i'm caring, it's a curse), and then i felt really weirdly sad! And I was like, guys, what's going on, I have no feelings/soul, why do I feel bad for this fiery train wreck? well, i haven't figured that out, but I do totally agree. When she says "I'm so alone" at the end, i totally get g-bumps... and not in a good way.
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