Pinky the Wig

Quick! Somebody snatch it!

Sniznesia

I'm not a big Britney Spears fan.  I was going through my music collection recently, and I only have a handful of songs plus her most Circus album (given to me free, mind you).  I used to be really entertained by her antics, but then they got scary.  I wish her nothing but the best, and I never want to see her lose it again.  BUT it's fun to imagine.  Imaginary Britney on Jonny McGovern's podcast is enough dysfunction for me.  She's all about flashing her pussy, purple drank, and tricking people into holding her babies while she peaces the fuck out.  Those "BABIES ARE BORING!" and she wants custody of them ZERO DAYS.  Anyway, I haven't been able to get this song out of my head all day.  As far as Britney is concerned, this is my favorite.  It's catchier than chlamydia, and has a fun retro vibe.  Get into it.

Smize Fail

Brady: is that you?
me: yes, that's me in the tranny picture. in my final boss form
Brady: It doesn't look like you
Brady: It doesn't look bad. You photograph differently. Tyra would like it. You have different looks

DO NOT WANT!

There's a line in Britney Spears' latest single "If U Seek Amy" that goes "all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy." This is delusion speaking, no? Do people still want to fuck Britney Spears? I mean besides chubbychasers and nutfuckers (those who are into crazies). Eight years ago it was totally acceptable for a guy to list her as most boneable, but today? You'd get laughed right out of your frat with your pink popped collared polo shirts flying after you. Even now that she's "sexy" again. Is it because she can never deny this?



If you bounced on it today, you'd still be reminded that she's batshit crazy and looked like Uncle Fester. Oh, and her favorite breakfast is cheese grits with "sprinkle cheese." That last part is enough for me.

I knew a guy in high school who made sure everyone knew that he knew it was Britney Spears' 18th birthday. Because, ya know, she was now a consenting adult for crazy circus weasel sex. The problem was that he was a flaming faggot. I'm talking hotter than the sun. He would open his mouth, and Judy Garland would fall out as he'd proclaim his lust for the Orange One. I think he's still putting on the ruse. Although I did get an IM from him a couple years ago offering to have sex with me as a response to my away message. I think he was drunk. I hope so. Either way, he's never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. Never get it.