Textual Intercourse

sniz:  ur probs a serial killer

me:  in that case you'd be a hot trophy

Let's Make It Happen

amen, sister

If you don't read my tweets, I coined the word "abominortion." I submitted it to Urban Dictionary, but those assholes have rejected my last two submissions. Although I did get angelmaker approved once upon a time. Here you have my definition:

A portmanteau of abomination and abortion. That which is offensive and should never have existed in the first place.

Totally useful, right? I'm going to need your help in literally spreading the word. Use it every appropriate chance you get.  Anyway, you heard it from me first.  So when it blows up, you know where it came from. 

Sir Charlie Sheen

snatched from http://www.videogum.com/

He was knighted, right?  This motherfucker has been so entertaining in a very sad way.  He's the new Lindsay Lohan, but at least you can tell she's a liar and knows deep down she's fucked up.  This man is "WINNING!"  And I'm already so damn sick of hearing people say "winning."  Two and Half Men is the worst; and he seems to be a fucking hurricane of shit, destroying everything he touches.  He truly is an abominortion.  Can we just go back in time and abort Charlie Sheen?

Anyway, here is a fun mashup of New Yorker cartoons and the ramblings of a chemically imbalanced celebrity with too much money for his own good:

Charlie Sheen Quotes As New Yorker Cartoons

My Next Drag Name

I'm mentioned before that I'm always on the lookout for drag personas.  I have a good one.  My name will be Ruth Lesscunt.  Get it?  It works on two levels; I'm so clever!  Eyeroll.  Anyway, I would of course base my look on Ruth Gordon's Minnie character from Rosemary's Baby.  All terrible, poorly applied makeup, housefrocks, and huge hair curlers.

Best Joke Ever

Aside from most Helen Keller jokes that is.  I modified this from statement form in a tweet by @RMGingerNinja:

What did the Jewish pedophile say to the child?

-"Hey little kid, wanna BUY some candy?"

Yep, That's About Right

Queen Latifah is a ravenous beast that devours fish.

RISE UP, for We Have a New Anthem

I liked "I Whip My Hair."  Well. . . some of it.  What I really liked was the Nicki Minaj Remix.  It only includes Willow's fun parts.  Check that out first:






Okay, now onto The Littlest Scientologist's new song. I love it! It's so catchy and fun. It puts some pep in my step when I listen to it on the way to work. It makes me forget that she's being brainwashed by a cult. I love the part about pulling gold out of her soul and diamonds from her heart. Every time I hear it, I add in my head something along the lines of "and pull oil from my weave." In my opinion, this should have been Lady Gaga's new song instead of her "Born This Way" abominortion (that's obviously a portmanteau of abomination and abortion). It makes me happy and the message can be coopted by queers without being too obvious or pandering. Let's do it!  Here is the song, "21st Centruy Girl"

The Amazing Suckling Snake

Got yo titty, bitch!

See, this is what I'm terrified would happen to me.  One time I flung my friend Sunshine's snake away from me because it opened its mouth in face as I was holding it.  Homie don't play that.  I am not Jon Voight, and this is not Anaconda.  Actually, this IS Anaconda, and I am Jennifer Lopez, kicking some snake ass.

THE BEST

This is my favorite YouTube video of all time.  It inspired my freshman year Asian friends and I to hit up Korean karaoke in Redwood City.

Cum Sail Away

I like this in an unironic manner.  Seriously.  It's pretty, and I appreciate the effort they put into it.  You may make fun of them, and so will some assholes who discover it when they hit college, but will you all have a hugely popular YouTube video?